Buzzkill: The Reckoning

Chapter 44

**Edited 7/27/22

After a solid half an hour of Bucky telling Ruth that he wouldn't let her train today, making her wait until tomorrow so she could get some rest, she finally agreed. She was anxious to find out more. All this new information stood openly in from of them. But Ruth knew she was overlooking the frailty she had now.

Bucky helped Ruth settle her things back into their shared room and showed her where Nat had put away some new clothes for her. Ruth was suspicious as to why Nat was being so nice. She wondered how much Tony paid her.

Ruth couldn't help but notice the many times that Bucky looked at the new scars she had at the crook of her arm. Adding to those were the even brighter electricity discoloration that formed along her arm like veins. Even when she had scars before, he never paid this much attention to them, at least not that Ruth had noticed. She tried not to say anything. It wasn't something that mattered right now.

As Bucky left to go downstairs, Ruth stayed in their room and sat back on the bed, looking through Ryker's old file that she still had in her backpack for any missing clues.

But like a flash of light, distracting her focus, it hit Ruth why Bucky looked at her like that.

He was the one who found her at the Hydra facility. She couldn't help but think of what he saw. He probably thought she was dead. Even when he found her, and saw she was alive, it was just barely. Ruth couldn't even keep her eyes open, much less stand up and walk out of there.

The memory of what it felt like to walk into the Bucharest apartment after the Vienna bombing struck Ruth's chest. The grief that sunk to her core, the hopelessness that consumed her when she thought Bucky was gone... How was she supposed to recover from that? How was he supposed to recover from that?

Ruth jogged out of the room and down the stairs to find Bucky, in doing so, slipping on one of the steps near the end because her legs gave out, causing her to grip onto the railing for dear life so she didn't fall down the rest, forcing her to realize she needed to take it easy.

As Ruth's heart continued to race from almost falling down a flight of stairs, Bucky came into view when she walked in the living room. Her careful steps were quiet, her heart suddenly coming to a perfect calm as she saw his figure sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, his back to her. She was guessing by the way he rested his head against his arm that he was reading something. Walking closer she saw that she was right.

But hesitation suddenly gripped Ruth's body, causing her to stop just a few feet from the couch. How does she do this?

Looking around the room to make sure no one was watching, Ruth stretched her arm out a bit, stroking the air. Does she put her hand on his shoulder? Hug him?

Ruth rubbed her face in frustration.

Hurrying out of the room before Bucky heard her, Ruth walked back to another side of the building. Striding across the hardwood floors to a door, Ruth took a deep breath and knocked. With every footstep Ruth could hear behind the door, her heart pounded. This was probably a very bad idea.

Natasha opened the door, an immediate look of confusion on her face as she looked at Ruth.

"How did you know where my room was?" Nat asked, her hand still on her door, her body blocking the doorway.

In a way, Ruth was relieved at least someone here didn't seem to trust her whole heartedly.

"Steve told me," Ruth replied. "He thought I should know in case I have girl trouble or some bullshit like that."