If Walls Could Talk

Chapter Fifty-Four

Chapter Fifty-Four

A week was often never seen as a long passage of time, however, for Louis, the week following the passing of his aunt seemed like an eternity.

Staying at Sam's house, every morning, Louis would wake up, and it would take a moment before he realised he wasn't in his own bed. That he wouldn't be walking out of his room to see his aunt. That the last of his family was gone.

Sam's family had, of course, been more than accommodating. Letting Louis stay with them and offering a permanent room in their house. They had even gone to Louis' apartment and cleaned it for him and collected his things, as he couldn't face going back.

Louis was nothing less than thankful for them. For all of the people around him, though, he wasn't sure how he would cope today. As he stood in a near-empty parking lot, watching Sam, Kara, and their families giving him space, and letting him process. In less than half-an-hour, he would be sitting in the front pews of a church, saying his final goodbyes to his aunt. To his family.

The brisk morning breeze swept around his feet and rippled through his clothes. His black jacket was wrapped tightly around him as he stared blankly ahead. His eyes stayed on Sam and Kara, who stood side by side, stealing glances back at Louis, no doubt fighting the urge to stand with him. But Louis didn't want them to, and they knew that.

Louis' gaze scanned the lawn in front of the church, looking at the families of his friends all talking quietly amongst themselves, getting to know each other. It was odd for Louis seeing Kara's family meeting Sam's. Both of them had taken him in when he needed them most. Both had given him a shoulder to lean on and had treated him like one of their own.

Louis felt as though he would never be able to repay them for what they've done. Even the cost of the funeral had been split between the two families. They had done more for him than he could have ever asked for and he couldn't have been more thankful.

"How are you holding up?" The welcoming voice of Isaac washed of Louis, and he blinked out of his thoughts as a gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

"I'm good," Louis lied, silently cursing himself for doing so.

"I'm really glad you've got your glasses back on."

"I don't have any contacts," Louis muttered. He hadn't found it in himself to go by another set of contact lenses.

For now, his glasses had to do, much to Isaac's delight.

"Why are you standing over here alone?" Isaac asked, changing the subject as Louis turned and wrapped his arms around Isaac's waist, pulling him into a hug.

"I may have lied when I said I was good," Louis confessed, resting his head on Isaac's shoulder, relishing in the warmth of the embrace. "I'm not ready for this."

Louis felt his heart begin to race as the words left his mouth. Being open and honest about how he was feeling was something he still wasn't used to, but he didn't want to hide that part of himself from Isaac. Not anymore.

In the passing week, Louis had distanced himself from Isaac, hating himself for every passing moment that he did. He told himself he didn't want Isaac to see how vulnerable he was, even though he already had. The night of his aunt's death, Isaac had seen Louis at his lowest and was still there. He didn't leave. So, Louis knew he was lying to himself.

The truth was, Louis was terrified letting anyone see too much. Kara and Sam, while they had seen him fall, still never got to hear how he felt. While they knew it must be hard for Louis, losing his aunt, Louis never said anything, even when they asked. Even when they pried.

But with Isaac, it was different. He couldn't bear the thought of keeping Isaac and an arm's length and keeping him in the dark. He was tired. Tired of pretending everything was okay. Tired of keeping his walls up—of rebuilding them. Time and time again, Isaac had managed to break through, no matter how many time Louis put them back up again.

Louis knew it was time to bring them down. He knew he didn't need them anymore.

"I don't blame you," Isaac muttered into Louis' ear, gently brushing his lips against Louis' cheek.

"We weren't that close," Louis matched Isaac's tone, letting his voice shake as he spoke and blinking a few tears out of his eyes. "So, why does it hurt this much?"

"She was family, Lou." Isaac pulled away from Louis, raising his arm to lift Louis chin, so their eyes met. "I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

Turning his head, Isaac looked over to were Louis had been looking before, smiling at the sight of Kara and Sam's family, as well as his own, who were introducing themselves.

"They may not be blood, Lou, but they're still your family."

Louis kept his eyes trained on Isaac as he spoke, knowing that there was truth in every word he spoke. Louis felt his stomach twist and turn, and his heartbeat speed up as he watched Isaac turn back to look at him.

"Thank you," Louis muttered, a grin slowly slipping on to his face.

It was still incomprehensible to Louis how Isaac was able to make him smile so easily. How he could make everything seem better.

"You look really nice," Louis stated, looking Isaac up and down, taking in the full sight of his boyfriend.

Isaac was wearing very similar clothes to Louis, though, in Louis' opinion, was wearing them much better. Slim black jeans resting neatly over a shiny pair of black boots. His black button-up shirt was tucked into his pants, and the dark coat he had on hung just above his knees.

"You do, too."

Isaac moved forward and pulled Louis into another hug, and Louis collapsed into the warmth, wishing to stay as they were. As much as Isaac was helping him, Louis still wasn't ready to face what was to come.

"We still have about twenty minutes before the funeral starts," Isaac said after a few moments of silence, and Louis shivered at the warmth of Isaac's breath on his neck. "Do you want to meet my family? You know, properly."

Nodding into Isaac's shoulder, Louis pulled away, immediately missing the warmth.

"I would."

With a small smile exchanged between the two of them, Louis slipped his hand into Isaac's, and, once again, felt himself shudder. He had found himself doing that a lot whenever Isaac touched him. It was as though a wave of warmth was being shot into him, and he wasn't complaining. It made him feel at home.

-------------------------------------------

A/N: I may or may not have re-written the ending to this book.

Here's a question:

Do you think Louis is right not to feel overwhelming sad?

I mean, he is still sad, don't get me wrong. And he isn't coping in the most healthy way, but still...