Runner

Chapter 10

Unedited

We drive for awhile, having nothing but the radio to fill the silence of the car. Somehow it's not weird though, it's just peaceful.

Pulling up to the lake Texas opens my door and pulls a picnic basket from the trunk.

Swoon.

We walk hand in hand to the waters edge before he takes out a blanket. Helping me settle on the blanket he starts to pull out enough food to feed an army!

"Holy cow who made all of this!?!?" I can't help but ask in wonder as I stare at all the yummy looking foods in front of us.

Blushing Texas takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. "I did but I didn't know what you liked or what you are craving so I just made a little bit if everything."

"You really are the sweetest!" I can't help but gush. Who would have thought that he would be so attentive and thoughtful?

Making a plate we talk about everything from our favorite colors to Texas's time in the army.

I had no idea that all of the members in his motorcycle club are prior service members. It's literally a rule you had to have served for at least 6 years before they will even consider letting you be apart of their club!

I can't help but find that really cool and somehow him being an ex special forces member just makes him hotter.

I told him little bits about myself trying to only bring up the happy things. Although I can see that some of the things that I consider happy he still thinks are sad.

The entire date was sweet we never talked about anything too heavy. We just enjoyed our time together, and I am thankful for that. I was incredibly sad when he said it was time to head home.

Driving back home I can't shake the sadness knowing this can never happen again. Because as much as I want a relationship with Texas I know that in the end it will have to become sexual. And I know that once he sees my body, my scars he could never want me like I want him.

Sensing my mood Texas asks what's wrong.

"This can never happen again." I admit while fiddling with my jacket. I'm too big of a chicken to look him in the eyes.

"The Hell it can't! I thought you had a good time, what did I do wrong? We can do something different next time if you want but there is going to be a next time." He says almost desperately as he pulls off to the side of the road.

"I can't be everything you need me to be, I want to be but I can't." I say continuing to fiddle with my jacket before Texas takes my hands into his own.

"What do you think I need you to be?"

"Physical." I whisper turning bright red.

"Well Hell yeah I want to be physical with you baby but I can wait. Your worth the wait." He pulls my chin up so we are looking each other in the eyes.

I can't stop the tears that fall out of mine "You can't wait forever, and you wouldn't want me if you knew the truth."

"Try me." He growls.

I might as well just rip the band-aid off...."I stayed with a man for years who physically and mentally abused me. I let him isolate me from the world because I wanted to feel loved because no one had ever shown me love before. I let him hurt me because he convinced me that this is the only way someone could love something like me. And I would still be there if it wasn't for Zaylee. I know she deserves to be loved better than that. I am so messed up, so pathetic you could never really want me. I am covered in scars they make me ugly because that's what he wanted. He wanted me to be ugly so no one else would ever want me." I say in shame trying to pull away from him, rejecting his touch before he can reject mine. Somehow that hurts less.

"I am going to kill that bastard." Texas vows.

"I do not care what he did to you, what he said to you, or how he made you feel because they are all lies. You are perfect. I have wanted you since I watched you outside of the old Mill with my sister talking renovations. You have been mine since I watched you laughing in the diner with the girls. Nothing he could have done could change that Lilly. As long as you want me I will always be here for you. Hell even if you don't want me I will always be here for you. Do you understand?" He asks in such a fierce voice that all I can do is nod.

"Do you want me Lilly?"

"I really do Texas. I know I shouldn't, I know I should stay away from you but I want you too much." I whisper.

"Good." He says before crashing his lips into my own.

His lips are rough and hot against my own. But he is good at this, holy shit he is good. Like this morning my hole body is tingling and I can't think of anything but how can I get closer.

As if reading my mind Texas picks me up until I am straddling him. My belly is pressed into his front while my back is flush against the steering wheel. This it's way too tight. Pulling away I can't help but laugh and look down at my belly.

"I don't think this is going to work I'm too fat." I say trying to catch my breath.

Laughing with me Texas kisses the corner of my lips. "Your right we can finish this at your place."

Helping me sit in my seat I start to feel my nerves crawl up my spine. What does "finish this at my place mean?"

"You can't be serious!" I question.

"And why is that?" He asks as he carefully pulls back out into the road.

"You can't want me.....like that I'm huge!" I say in embarrassment while motioning to my protruding belly.

"I think it's beautiful, I think your beautiful. I want all of you and if you think that a couple of scars or a little weight is going to keep me from taking what's mine then you REALLY do have a lot to learn." He says looking at me with fire in his eyes. Leaning over he places his hand on my belly and runs gentle circles on it making me turn to mush.

The entire ride home he keeps an easy conversations going with me I almost forget what he has planned for us until we get to my door.

Walking me to my door I try and offer him an out again because I still can't wrap my head around all of this.

"Are you sure that you want me?" I ask still skeptical.

"Hell yeah. Mind body and soul baby. I want all of you."

"Even pregnant?" I ask looking down at my large bump.

"Your beautiful." He says with so much conviction that I almost believe him.

"You haven't saw my scars yet. You haven't saw what he did to me." I whisper placing a hand over the worst one on my chest. It's hidden under the fabric of my dress but I can still feel the inflamed skin against my hand.

"They don't matter. I will take you anyway I can get you, I want you. I want you scars and all. I want everything that has anything to do with you. Nothing will ever change that." He is so serious, so intimidating, so sexy. He makes me lose my mental footing.

"Sex. It's just sex. It has to be just sex  I don't need complications. My life is complicated enough." I try to reground myself. 

"If that's what you need right now then sure but don't get me wrong I want more with you. But that can wait until later though, I'll take what I can get right now."

Swooping down he kisses me gently before crowding me against the door. "Unlock the door baby, I'm done talking." he whispers against my skin.

All I can think is "this is crazy" before I do just that.

They are going to don't he dirty... And no you will not be getting the details from me! Vote and comment to let me know how you feel!