soft - woosan

chapter 11

wooyoung san

san had been avoiding wooyoung for the week, and anything to do with him. he changed the subject when the topic was brought up, and even went out of his way to dodge him in the hallways by changing his routes.

his friends seemed worried, but he told them he was fine with every frequent question. he wasn't sure why he was so affected, and felt he was over reacting. all wooyoung had done was prove he was who san didn't want him to be, but he shouldn't want him to be anything, san reminded himself.

jung wooyoung was just another person who disrupted the current of the rapid river that was san's life, eventually leaving one way or the other. except, he didn't leave. like so many others, san just pushed him away.

he refused to have anything to do him, with good reason, but he could never get rid of the underlying nagging anxiety for wooyoung's wellbeing ever since the day san walked away from the other allowing himself to be beat up.

he missed him.

and he was sure it was only because he couldn't sleep again, and the insomnia was getting worse and worse. he supposed the negative impact of sleeping with wooyoung's help was that when that support was removed, the problem intensified.

nothing happened on the second day, or the third, or the fourth. the passing of time inside the exquisite prison of his mind became its own ordeal; the only thing that interrupted his days was the routine of his meals and hygiene.

he almost laughed at himself so many times - you're acting like this is a breakup - because the insanity of the idea was hilarious to him; he and wooyoung could never be.

so why did he kiss you?

san ignored the inkling of question drifting far in the abyss of his mind, dismissing it as quickly as the idea he missed and wanted to see wooyoung again.

the only reason he kissed you was to experiment. he's probably off experimenting with half the male population now. it didn't mean anything.

maybe not to wooyoung. but boy, did it mean something to san.

he didn't take kissing lightly, especially not when the person in question was a homophobic (or so he thought) idiot self-absorbed stoner, who messed with his feelings by breathing.

maybe the description was a little harsh, but people who punched you were not to be given sympathy too.

"why do i keep thinking about someone who punched me?" san questioned, surprising those around him due to his propensity of introvercy and no inclination to express his feelings.

"maybe you're a masochist." yeosang replied dryly, earing a flick from yunho.

"you should stop thinking about him." felix said quickly, glaring at yeosang briefly for his bad timing.

"i don't know," yunho started hesitantly, biting his lip and glancing at san. "mingi told me wooyoung was in pretty bad shape after bambam. he hasn't been back to school in days."

all three boys stared at san indiscretely, anticipating a reaction. but san kept his cool, fighting back the way his heart lurched and screamed at his feet to get up and run to wooyoung right then.

"serves him right." felix muttered honestly, clearly not on the wooyoung sympathizer list.

san was determined not to be on the wooyoung sympathizer list either, and so he continued to eat his food even though he had no appetite.

yunho looked at san quizically, opening his mouth again as if to change san's mind, which was not helping. "mingi was also pretty worried-"

"drop it." san said flatly, not welcoming any other reason for him to go find the boy who was subject of their conversation. "wooyoung's not our friend. we shouldn't care." we? don't you mean 'i'?