To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝚂𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛-𝙳𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚋 ✆

✆ ᏟᎪᏞᏞ ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- peter ╝

773-202-beep boop beep boop-LUNA

You good?

Yeah, I'm just bored
I'm at the airport waiting for my friend

Which means you have to call me at 3:10 AM?

You answered so...
I got bored watching old TV commercials on YouTube
What else was I supposed to do?

I don't know
Maybe not call me at 3:10 AM

I can hang up if you want because I don't mind doing so

Nah, you're good
I have nothing better to do anyway

Can't sleep?

Something like that
Can I put you on hold for a sec?

Yeah, sure

Thanks
I'll be back in a few minutes

[five minutes later]

Ok, I'm back
Sorry about that

It's fine
Quick question

Shoot

How'd you meet Spider-Man?
I'm pretty sure it's not normal to know a superhero

I have an internship with Tony Stark?

Bruh, is that a question or a statement?

Statement
I saw something outside that was weird, that's all
*crash* Shit!

PETER?!
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!
ARE YOU OUTSIDE?

Um... no?
I have to go real quick!
Bye!

YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU'RE NOT HANGING UP ON ME, SPIDER-DWEEB!

What?

Your voice just went up an octave higher
What'd I say?

N-nothing
Listen, I'll call you- oof!

WHAT THE SHIT, PARKER!
CRAP!

Did you just guess my last name correctly?
*crack*

PETE YOU STILL WITH ME?
I SWEAR IF YOU'RE DEAD, I'M GOING TO RESURRECT YOU AND KILL YOU PERSONALLY!

*fighting noises*
Wouldn't it have been hilarious if I just flew back like balloons do when you pop 'em?
Can you even imagine?
God, just do it again, pretend the first time didn't happen
Come on
Please

What the actual hell?

*thwip*
As much fun as this has been, I have a call to get back to
I don't suppose you can stay here till the police come?
What?
You're in a sticky situation?
How unfortunate
Have a nice time in jail, Mr. Criminal 2.0!

...I feel like I'm intruding on something
I'm also highly concerned

No, Karen, you don't need to call Mr. Stark
Honestly, I can hardly even feel the knife sticking out of my side

YOU WERE STABBED?!
Wait, who the hell is Karen?
Peter, answer me this instant!

Karen, seriously, don't call Mr. Stark
He's probably sleeping right now
What do you mean I have a broken rib?
When did that happen?

...I'm utterly speechless
I feel like I should hang up but at the same time I shouldn't

Karen, just stop
It's not that big of a deal
I heal pretty fast
I'll be fine by tomorrow afternoon

I've never been so confused in my entire life and that's saying something

Karen, take (Y/n) off of hold
What do you mean she wasn't on hold?
She was on the line the entire time?
Shit!

I'm just going to go...
Don't think this conversation is over, Pete

ᴇɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ

✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- peter ╗
╚ Bold- tony ╝

I'm in some deep shit right now

Why was I just informed that you were stabbed and have a broken rib?
sᴇᴇɴ 𝟹:𝟹𝟻 ᴀᴍ