My Love is a Star (BTS Suga Fanfiction)

70. All that matters

YOONGI'S POV

I was awakened by the loud coughing of a passenger on board. He sounded like he was about to throw his guts out. What the fuck. We flew first class for this.

I glanced at the passenger right next to me. She seemed to be undisturbed. She was breathing steadily, still sound asleep, her hands buried underneath her right ear like a baby. She must have been missing a lot of sleep lately.

I gently tuck away strands of her hair covering her eyes. I've been longing for this moment. Looking at every single detail of the face of the person I love even more than my own mother. This face right here has cost me a lot and yet I find myself still gambling.

"Here's your meal of choice and your complimentary wine sir." The flight attendant suddenly appeared beside me totally ruining my moment. As she courteously placed the food on the nearby table, this curious cat tried to take a peek beneath the cap I was wearing. I cleared my throat out loud and said my thanks. Good thing she was smart enough to get what I mean.

I headed for the comfort room to wake up my sleeping legs. The crew on the far-end corner watched my every move as I approached the john. They started whispering among themselves when I walked past them. This airline should teach their crew some manners.

I turned on the faucet and let the water flow while I check myself in the mirror.

Damn. I could really use some shaving.

I am bare-faced right now. I don't mind really because I hate putting even powder on my face. But right now, I want to look decent enough with her around. I didn't even bring a balm with me and I'm pale as fuck. I wish there's a way to give my face some color. I tried pinching my cheeks but it didn't really help. I groaned and decided washing my face is the best thing I could do.

She loved me at my best. She has to love me at my worst too.

We'll be landing in Seoul in an hour and for the past three, I've been so deep in thought on how to go about Plan #2. I really thought I was flying back alone.
This entire day was such a rollercoaster ride for me. Rollercoaster is even an understatement.

RECALL

The moment I closed the door behind me, I felt myself being torched in flames. She spat those words out completely thoughtless of how I would feel. Well, she does have the right to do so actually. But still, I couldn't quite digest the thought that it all took place in a short span of time. I was already there trying to lay out all my cards and I ended up screwing it just because I don't know how to fucking construct my sentences!

Just make up your mind already.

Why did I fucking say that??! It sounded like a total asshole! Motherf---... I groaned in my stupidity. I walked out of the village with the glummest cloud hovering over me.

I wish I always know the right things to say.

_______________________________________

AT THE HOTEL

I spent the rest of the afternoon sulking in my hotel room. I sprawled on the floor next to the bed contemplating the next thing to do if she doesn't wind up in my doorway in the next five hours.

The analog clock on the wall appeared to be ticking so loud as its hands moved by the second. I felt sick to my stomach.

I messed up. I messed up again. And there's no way to reverse it this time around.

Originally, I was supposed to fly back to Seoul at seven this morning. But I just had to reschedule due to the sudden turnout of events. I know the guys have been loathing me since I got on the plane and with the change I did at the last minute, I just might have to live on my own. Fingers crossed they still got everything handled or I may lose my job as well.