I did not dare be distracted. It was dawn, and the rays of light filtered through the kaleidoscope of the forest, creating patterns on the browned grass like nuggets of gold in a clay pan. I already felt that I loved it, even if I did not know it.
The forest, I mean.
Leafy branches drooped down from evergreen trees, blocking the clarity of the sky. Birdsong pierced the morning silence and I flinched at the occasional swoop of wings that could be heard. I hated that rustle of foliage that came with a bird's landing. I hated it but I loved it. What did it mean to love something, anyway?
I pulled myself up, pressing the paled palms of my hands onto the altar, focusing my strength. I set a single foot on the soil and recoiled immediately at the sight of a hare speeding away.
I loved the forest. And yet, still, I did not know where I was.
There was not much to distinguish it. The trees looked like the regular trees I was used to — firs and redbuds. There were barely any blooms and I wondered why that made me feel unsafe. I tried to draw on my thoughts, to no avail. It seemed as if there were no thoughts left in my head at all.
Only black.
I slid my hand across the smooth surface of the altar. I wondered how strenuous it must've been to smoothen out every ripple in the stone. It must've been carved by a perfectionist's hand. I traced circles on the veneer with my index, drawing an invisible map to nowhere.
I lied back down and looked up at the sky once more, bordered by leaves and dotted with alabaster clouds. Everything was so beautiful but in the most sinister way.
In the thick of the forest, the air smelled like mulled wine and ginger. Suddenly, the birdsong sounded a lot like a flute's music. The sun seemed unbearably happy.
Paradise affixed all five of my senses and I jumped off of the altar, at last. The prickly sensation that came with my toes in the grass excited me — I ran across the open field, one that was bordered by a grove of pansy trees. The breeze hit my chest like a soft blow and I threw my arms up into the air in response. I yelled liberty, and the world seemed so incredible for just a single moment.
A single moment in which I found myself distracted, as an arrow soared through the air with a whoosh, its trajectory ending at my abdomen.
