My Muse || Knj ✔️

24

"What do you mean you felt hot?"

"I don't know! I j-just...I don't know! Is their such a thing as soul replacement!? Maybe it's because we're both soulless..?" I panic my head beating over and over as I rant to Namjoon who's now sat on the sofa opposite me.

I wasn't Able to find him anywhere so I hid away in my room until her came back, now currently sat on his bed sweat dripping from my forehead as my jaw trembles with worry and ache.

"I-i don't know hoseok...it's hard because...you watched her die...how can you suddenly gain a new soulmate?" Namjoon inquires, questioning what I've just exposed.

I gulp, memories of my childhood swiping me from reality dragging be back down into those grave disturbing memories.

~

"Hoseokie!~ look look! Watch me kick the ball over to the other side!"  Bright and cheerful her voice calls out the tip taps of her small precious feet running on the worn out grass.

A whacking pelt fills my head as I stand watching the checkered ball float in the air swiftly being dragged down by gravity as it hits the pavement bouncing over and over into the road.

"I'll get it!" She calls, her feet pitter pattering on the sofa dried grass again, becoming stomps as they hit the pavement and tarmac.

Without a second to process what happened next I felt my heart being ripped out from within me as the screeches and horn of  the vehicle rung in my ears. 

"Leah!"

Tip taps, pitter patters of my own feet crunching on the lifeless grass, cracking and cackling on the pavement, my hoarse crush vocals screaming out of my lungs.

"L-Leah..?"

Her deep hazel eyes and chestnut hair reflect in my own, as her eyes slowly loose their sparkle and innocence only the water in them that makes them shine, "I'm here! I'm right here! Leah! Leah!"

"My baby! No!"  Her mother screams as she stumbles over pulling Leah away from my grasp.

"Hoseok! Get of the road now!!"  My own mother separating me from her as she rubs on my arm and holds my small body tight, checking me over and over for any sign that I was hurt but my eyes only fixate on my best friend in her mother's arms.

Not knowing weather that would be the last time I see her or not.

Until I received the news.

"Hoseok..?" My mother calls out as she pops her head through the door holding a mug filled with warm orange juice.

I burst into tears and they trickle from my eyes like water falls knowing exactly what the news is going to be.

"Hoseok..." I feel her arms around me her soft voice only speaking the words I dreaded to hear, "she didn't make it Hoseok...she....she didn't make it.." my eyes only whipping open as a gasp is heard from the door as I lock eyes with my tearful sister who leaves the room before going into her own.

My mother still weeping with me,as we mourn the loss of our dear friend.

My friend of whom I did not know was mine, until my tenth birthday that same weekend.

—

"Hoseok! Hoseok!" A hand waves in front of my face shaking me back into reality drawing me away from my painful and hurtful memories.

"Hoseok! What happened? You zoned out while I was talking! Are you alright?" Namjoons eyes filled with concern as I felt my body grow limp.

"I'm-....I'm just going to go get some rest now...could you try and research about how I feel please..?" I ask only for that before I drape my feet over the sandy carpet that lays the floors and hallways into my own hotel room, finally closing the door on my eventful day.

Dropping into a heavy snooze as I lay onto the mattress having no idea of when I'm going to wake up.

But I didn't feel like I wanted to in the first place, my dreams on reminiscing on my past days, wishing something else would have happened on that fateful day.

— Namjoons pov —

"Whatcha Googling Joonie?" A perky voice calls out from behind me and I slowly close my laptop to hide the searches that I'm currently doing for Hoseok.

Guilt and pity filling within me as I turn around to face y/n's pretty and beautiful smile.

"I'm not googling anything important." I lie trying to hide my fibs through a dimpled smile.

"I know your lying." She hums before swooping around me opening the laptop and reading instantly what I was reading. Gulping down my confidence as I watch her eyes widen and tear up before facing me.

"Is this...for Hoseok...?" She hums lightly before scrolling down the page and reading some more.

Nodding slowly in reply at her remark scooting to the side a little so I could read also, she smile slightly before dragging a chair over, "I've heard many stories of soulless people finding comfort with each other, just like how we have a connection they do too. Only that theirs is an emotional bond with no guarantee." She slowly repeats the comments on the website her cheeks lighting up as she reads the positive stories and outcomes.

I could feel my heart rose is joy, Hoseok has a chance! He might actually be able to become happy! To have someone to call his own forever!

I couldn't hold in my excitement any longer standing up to tell him only to be stopped by a hand around my wrist, "Namjoon wait!"

I halt.

Her glittery orbs that stare at mine, "let Hoseok find his feet on his own, it's and emotion bond, not one like ours, there's no guarantee." Her head lowers and so does her voice.

"I don't want to get his hopes up for something that might not be possible." She softly informs making my heart sink a little after receiving the news but understanding her view.

I would hate for Hoseok to be heart broken again...he is my friend.

I just hope this girl he spoke so fondly off isn't just going to use him. If she does, I'll make sure she won't be near him ever again.

I need to protect the ones I love.

———————————————————-

Angst ah yes sad depressing angst.

I was honestly going to cry

However you guys have now only heard part of hoseoks story and also you haven't even heard all of your own story yet! Ah so many possibilities!! I can't wait!

Anyways I hope to see you in the next chapter my little teapots!