Because You're Different ✔

48. Smoke

Nathan

Charlotte came out of the bathroom, already showered and dressed in her pajama. For some reason, she never liked to remain naked after sex — she always left the bed after not more than ten minutes, as if she was slightly ashamed of what we'd just done. I figured it had to do with her insecurities about her body, although sometimes, I wondered if my performances weren't nearly as alright as I thought they were. But she'd tell me if that was the case, right? She had no problem giving me feedback on how I'd handled talking to a particular family member. This should be just as easy, right?

"Oh, I'm exhausted," she said. She yawned, stretching out her arms, then entered the walk-in closet, probably to pick out her clothes for tomorrow. Her muffled voice continued from there, nearly unintelligible: "Today was too much, really. Dad rang twice to ask if we were still coming to dinner tomorrow. Oh, and Edward was bothering me with an utterly odd story, something about you and smoking? I had no idea what he was going on about." She emerged again, her arms full of clothes, staring at me with her lips pressed together. "You don't smoke, do you?"

The babbling thing was something she'd never done back home, but I definitely liked it. Why hadn't she done it back in the US? Had she never completely been at ease there? I grinned at her. "Would you throw me out with the trash if I said 'yes'?"

She shook her head, confused, carefully placing the pile on her chair. When she turned to me, her eyes were narrowed. "So, it's true? You smoke?"

"No, of course not. I don't think you should ever believe a word that guy says. I haven't smoked in years, apart from a joint sometimes." Oh no. Judging from her expression, I should've kept that information for myself. Before she could ask me about it, I added: "Why? Are you afraid I'll get lung cancer and die before you've taken me to your dad's birthday dinner?"

"Nathan! That's not funny!" But I laughed, and I could see something twitch around her lips, like she wanted to as well. "I don't understand why Edward is spreading all these lies about you. It's not like him at all."

Yeah... It was like him. I wasn't going to be the one to say that to her, though. I'd let her figure that one out herself. "I don't know either," I said, lying back down, hands folded behind my head.

She was quiet for a while, rummaging around the room. My eyes were fluttering, my body heavy; it'd been a long day, and the sex didn't help either. I didn't want to fall asleep yet. Tomorrow, I'd have to share her with half of upper-class London again, seeing her try to please her dad by charming some minister's wife.

"Albert smokes cigars," she said out of the blue, in a high, cheery voice.

When I looked up, she was combing her hair, attempting to look casual. I knew her too well to fall for it. "Yeah, sometimes. I've never had one. Don't like the smell." He particularly enjoyed them on nights we won the Pub Quiz, calmly blowing out the smoke to add it to the other fumes gliding through the city. Sometimes, I pictured him together with Mr. Guevara, and then I wondered if there was a way to let these men meet. It'd be an interesting combination, for sure. June could write an entertaining short story about it: The Englishman Who Didn't Speak and the American Who Always Spoke. Or something. She'd probably think of a better title than me.

But we were in London, and they were in California, and I didn't think I'd ever have the courage to invite Albert to join us for Christmas. Although, he might like to since he'd spend a semester abroad in San Francisco back in his college days. The only things he'd ever asked me about was if this and this place were still the same.

Charlotte sat down on the edge of the bed, starting her nightly cream ritual. I didn't know what all these tubes and jars were for, but she swore by them. I was glad she usually smeared them on after sleeping together, because they made her skin all slippery and greasy. Without looking at me, she said: "You spend an awful lot of time together, don't you?"