Rogue Queen ➵

➵ XXIII. Created To Be Hated

Sunday, January 7th, 2018, 8:00am

Zaine's POV

Killian and I cuddle on the love seat in the living room. Chase and Rhea are watching TV, and Rei and Clove are still sleeping. Lazy bitches sleep in till 8 or 9 in the morning when they can.

Resting my head on Killian's shoulder, my eyes fall down to the scars littering my arms. My dream still lingers in my mind, barely there, but noticeable. Falling back to what I always did to calm myself, I start whispering the song I made up years ago when I was still being abused.

"Sneers and glares on all sides,
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Harsh laughter ringing in my ears.
Surrounded by my darkest fears."

Killian's arm tightens around my shoulders. I know he doesn't like hearing this since it only reminds him of the pain I've gone through, but he knows it calms me so he doesn't say anything.

Chase and Rhea both look at me, then get up and come over to Killian and I, climbing up onto our laps and taking my hands in theirs.

"Hit, hit.
Pain, pain.
Day after day,
But what does this gain?

Was I created to be hated,
By everyone and everything?
Try to block it all out,
But I still feel the sting.
Created to be hated.
That's the meaning of my life.
Oh how I want it to end,
Just pass me the knife.
Created to be hated.

"Hey fag," they say, "come out, join us and play."
"We'll be the predator, and you'll be the prey."
"Go die," they shout, "no one will ever want you."
"We all want you gone, your mother did too."

Cut, cut.
Blood, blood.
One of these days,
My tears will make a flood."

Gently turging my hands out of the twins' grip, my fingers lightly brush over the scars on my arm. Killian's hand grasps mine, moving my hand so my fingers trace the scars, his eyes gazing sadly as the marks littering my skin.

"Was I created to be hated?
Why put me here at all?
Just to be hit and abused?
To watch blood and tears fall?
Created to be hated.
Oh universe, why me?
What did I do?
I just want to be free.
Created to be hated.

I was broken such a long time ago.
Years and years, yet my blood will still flow.
The pain I feel day after day,
I want it to end, but still here I stay.

I was created to be hated.
That, I know for sure.
I'm being dragged down.
This depression has no cure.
Created to be hated.
I'll always be just a toy.
I know it's here where I'll die,
Never knowing love or joy.
Created to be hated.

Oh, created to be hated."

"What's wrong, Changeling?" Rei asks as she comes into the living room, still in her fluffy-ass pajamas, hair messy, dragging her feet and looking half-dead. "You don't sing that unless you're stressed or upset."

"Just had a bad dream last night," I reply, wrapping one arm around Chase's shoulders as he cuddles close to me.

My little smol bean. He loves me.