After 30 Days

Twenty- Seven - Day 55

"You are not leaving me behind!"

Outrage warred with hurt. I couldn't believe that he actually thought that I would stay here, behind the fences, while he went out there without me.

Apparently he knew better than to repeat what he'd just said, causing my outburst, because Shawn just stood there looking at a loss for words for a few long seconds. Finally, running his hands through his hair in frustration, he went back to sorting through the supply room. He was deciding what he wanted to take with him when he left in the morning.

We were the only ones in the room, everyone had been giving us a wide berth all afternoon, probably because of my frequent outbursts. Even Rex had slunk off at some point, apparently tired of the tension in the air.

The backpack that Shawn had picked to replace his own lost one looked tactical, and he had managed to stuff an impressive array of things into it's many compartments. That thing was going to be heavy, but from the way he had packed, he would be better prepared for just about any situation that he could think of.

As much as I didn't like it, it was obvious by that point that he was going to DC. Word had spread quickly around the community and I kept having to bite back sarcastic remarks when people would stop to thank him or wish him luck. The reality of the situation sunk in a little bit more with each well wisher, until I couldn't avoid it any more.

Shawn was going to do the exact thing that I guess I always knew he would do, that's just who he was, he was going to go to the CDC.  That meant I was going to the CDC too. End of discussion.

Resignedly, I unzipped my own bag and began throwing in supplies. It didn't take long, the bag wasn't that big, and I wondered for a second if I should trade it for another one. But I hesitated, fingers going to the zombie chewed strap that had saved my life. This bag had history and I was attached to it now, weird as that may be. I didn't want a new backpack.

Someone had brought back several bags of dog food after a recent scavenging trip, and I added a small bag to my supplies. Rex wouldn't be going hungry on this trip if I could help it.

The dog food filled my backpack the rest of the way and I struggled to get the zipper closed. Finished, I looked up and found Shawn watching me, his own bag packed and sitting in the floor at his feet.

"Are you mad at me?" His voice was so quiet I almost couldn't hear it.

I wasn't mad. I was terrified.

I shook my head. When he opened his arms I dove into them and pressed as close to his chest as I could get.

We stood like that for a while before he spoke near my ear. "I'm not naive, Bri. I know this is going to be risky. But I can't do nothing if there's a chance I can do something." He paused, "I got bit. I don't know how or why, but I'm still alive. That has to mean something."

I nodded into his chest, not trusting my voice. I suddenly didn't want to fight with him any more.

We stayed like that for several more minutes, his hand occasionally running down my hair. The room was dimly lit by lanterns and no noise from the others nearby made it in. It was a few minutes of peace that I was happy to take because when we left this room, I had no idea what was going to happen next.

The sun had started to set when we finally exited the storage room. Someone was bringing the cow in for the night and her hooves clattered against the school floor. The hallway was nearly black, but I could make out the shapes of people moving around. Everyone who wasn't keeping watch at the moment tended to stay inside after dark, and the school got a lot busier.

His fingers laced through mine, Shawn led the way to our room where we dumped the loaded bags in our corner. Maya, Bill, Maggie, and Charlie were all also in the room.

I smiled weakly at them all.

They all knew that we were leaving in the morning, it seemed like the entire community did by then, and Maya and Bill had already told us they planned to go too. Shawn had tried to tell them to stay here, behind the fences where it was slightly safer, but Maya had just fixed him with her stubborn stare and told him in no uncertain terms that family needed to stay together.

Her quiet words had affected me, in more ways than one.

I was touched that the couple thought of us as family, but what made me pause after her declaration wasn't that. The real thought that made my breath catch in my throat was the fact that not all of our little family would be going. There was no way that we could justify dragging Luna back out there. The little girl would have to stay behind.

While I had no intention of staying in DC forever, there were no guarantees. Likewise, when we did make it back, I couldn't be positive that the community would still be there. When we left, there was a very real possibility that we wouldn't see those we left behind ever again. I was unsettled by the thought, but I didn't know what to do about it.

"You two want to leave first thing in the morning?" Bill was busy packing a bag himself.

"Yeah," Shawn answered him. "The weather is getting colder and the days are getting shorter. I don't think we should wait to go. We're going to have to go back north almost clear back to where we started. It's going to be worse up there."

"You make sure you all have packed some warm clothes," Charlie rasped.

"I put a couple of heavy blankets in the suv for you all," Maggie chimed in. She had wanted to come with us too, both her and Charlie, but I had reminded them that Luna would have to stay behind. That had been enough to convince both women to stay, to keep an eye on her. Maggie had announced that we should take the suv, though, and had told us she would pack it for us. "There's food and water and a couple of jugs of gas, too."

"Thanks, Maggie."

She smiled at me, lightly patting my shoulder as she passed by on her way out of the room. I looked around, but there wasn't much else to do to get ready. It was time to go eat with the community, and ready or not, it was time to face the little red haired girl that I knew was going to be upset at us for leaving. If possible, I was more nervous about having to talk to her than I was about facing the entire community and all of their unwanted attention, all at once.

I sighed and trailed back out into the hall behind the others.

The experience in the cafeteria was as bad as I had feared. It was like a giant spotlight was shining down on us, drawing every eye to where we sat. People continued to come over, wanting to talk. Luna had stared mutinously at me before climbing onto Shawn's lap and treating him to a scolding that no one in the cafeteria was likely to soon forget. It had taken him several minutes, and repeated promises to come back, before she was finally satisfied enough to go play with Jaime.

I was glad that she at least had her friend to keep her company.

Rex reappeared from somewhere and came to lay at my feet with a hearty sigh. At least the dog wasn't upset any more.

The upheaval was finally dying down and I was certainly glad for it. My nerves felt stretched to the breaking point.

I couldn't resist rolling my eyes when Ned got up and came our way. He smiled around the table and took a seat.

"Everyone ready to go in the morning?" He asked. "Did you all find everything that you need?"

I nodded. Around me the others did the same.

Maggie spoke up, "Thank you for the extra gas. I know it's in short supply, and we really appreciate you giving it up."

"That's no problem," Ned replied. "If there's ever going to be a good cause, this is it."

His next words made my stomach drop and left me blinking in confusion.

"I managed to find a few extra gallons for Marcus and Sam, too. Your vehicle would have been pretty crowded with six people and all of the supplies you all need, so they decided to take one of the trucks. It'll mean you all will need more gas, taking two vehicles, but it'll be a lot more comfortable."