Adore [H.S.]

52

ISABELLA 

The day went by quicker than I had hoped for. Natalia and I had spent most of the day talking, eating, and seeing the major tourist sites. She had bugged me for most of the morning, telling me that she needed to see Central London. Claiming this may be the only time she'll be in London and that she had to take advantage of it. 

I'd much rather check out the shops and relax. Regardless, I had obliged to her consistent badgering and became a tourist for the day. We had checked out the major places: the London Eye, Buckingham Palace. I also showed her the bookstore and took her to Breirin's for lunch. It was a mixture of tourist and "local". Was I even at the point where I could consider myself a local? Or was I still an impostor? Either way, she had enjoyed it and that was what mattered. 

I hate goodbyes. Absolutely loath them. Especially when it comes to Nat. I'm thankful that we live in a day and age where communication is easy. I'm glad that we can turn on our computer and see one another's faces regardless of the distance in between us. Yet, even though society has made it convenient, I still hated being far away. But - at the same time, I was glad to be where I was. It was never a win-win situation. There was always something pulling me one away and back the other. 

The taxi drive back to the apartment was peaceful. The driver had been distracted by his own thoughts leaving me with no awkward conversations. I had been left to my own thoughts, my own world.  My phone began to buzz; an incoming text message. 

Babe, hope you're home safe. H. 

The simple text brought a smile to my lips. It was the little things like this that made me feel so loved by him. 

Almost. Absolutely tired though. Ready to fall asleep. 

I could see the little annotation at the bottom, signaling that he was typing something. 

Don't fall asleep in the cab. I don't want you dead. 

I bite back a laugh, typing a quick response: Not to worry. Pulling up to apartment now and very much alive.

Good. Go to bed and dream sweet dreams baby. I love you. 

He was too good to me. Too good. I will, love you too. Goodnight, H. xx

My phone began to buzz four times in a row. I opened up the texts, laughing lightly to myself. I knew my cheeks were red, my lips already hurting from the grin on my face. 

Good.

Night.

Hot.

Girl.

I don't say anything back. The grin on my lips not wiping off. The cab pulled up to the front of the apartment. I had quickly paid the driver and walked up the steps. It was late; fifteen minutes past one in the morning. I was ready for bed. The eventful activities of today had tired me out. I was completely ready for bed. 

The apartment was dark and quiet. I felt around for the light switch. I had managed to find it in the darkness, bumping into a few objects on long the way. The light blinded me for a moment. My eyes taking a second to readjust. The apartment was empty. Jaz's bedroom door wide open and her shoes missing. She must be at Ben's tonight. 

As much as I loved having a roommate, but it was nights like these, roommate less for the night, that I liked the best. I was able to do things that I wasn't able to do with someone around. Like, peeing with the bathroom door open. I know that was weird, but there was something liberating about doing your business with the door open. I loved it! 

And that was what I did. 

After going to the bathroom, I got ready for bed. I made myself a cup of tea. The warm liquid soothed my throat. The bitter peppermint calming me down. 

I laid in my bed. The white duvet wrapped tightly around me. I listened intently to the busy street below. A cool chill breezing through the slightly opened window and past me, cooling me down. The apartment was silent; the only sounds coming from below. 

As I laid, my thoughts began to wander off. Thoughts of home invading my mind. 

It was hard to believe that Natalia was leaving NYU to figure out her life. I was proud of her. Even though at first I was shocked, I knew that this was what she wanted to do with her life. At least, right now, that's what she wanted to do with her life. Being her big sister, I had to support her. Granted, I still gave her my "sisterly" advice. I had to make sure that she wasn't throwing her life away. 

Mom and dad were angry - but that was no surprise, really. Ever since we were children, they had always made sure that we did what they wanted for us. They had this big plan for our lives. I was to become a business woman and Nat, a lawyer. We were to find husbands by the age of twenty-two and start a family by twenty-five. Our husbands were going to be handpicked by our mother - even if she claimed she didn't do a thing. They were to be of high class and of good money. Maxwell's never settled for less than what we deserved. That was what was embedded into us since we were children. 

I knew for  a fact that this was killing them. Having both Natalia and I living our lives for us and not them had to be family genocide. 

Regardless, this was our lives. We had the final say in what we wanted to do with it. We were the writers of our story; not our parents. They were the shapers in the beginning, but we are the ones to finish it up. As much as they wanted to dictate our do's and don'ts, they couldn't anymore and that had to be killing them inside. 

A part of me worried about what could be going on in the minds. What must be going on in their own relationship. Nat had briefly mentioned that our parents weren't on speaking terms. A part of me was worried that I was the major cause of that. That I could be the cause of a marriage falling a part. But, I had to tell myself that wasn't the case. That divorce wasn't on the radar for them. Even though we didn't get along or see eye-to-eye most of the time, they were my parents. I wanted to see them happy.

As I thought of my parents relationship, I began to think of my own. A certain curly haired adonis began to seep into my thoughts. 

Harry - I was so content with him. 

Everything seemed like it was going right for once. I knew that he wasn't hiding anything from me. We had undoubtably established a mutual trust with one another. Over the past few months of us being together, my heart had become an open book. It was safe to say that Harry knew everything there was to know about me. From my fears, to the things that excited me- he knew it all. 

Harry was it for me.

I was pretty sure that I was it for him. 

It was scary. Knowing who you were destined to be with. I knew that I was destined to be with him. Everything made sense when he was around. Harry had this way of making my racing heart calm down. He was able to ease me from my tensions and society driven anxieties. His mind was always working. He challenged me. He challenged me in ways that Chase never did. Hell, he challenged me more than my parents or university ever did. Was that even normal? I'm not too sure. 

It was safe to say that I was at the point in this relationship where if something was to happen between us, say we broke up, I would be completely lost. I had developed a world inside of my mind - an Isabella land, where Harry was the king. If he were to disappear, I knew my world would be in trouble. I'd be lost with out him. I was in way too deep.

The thought sent a chill down and through my spine. 

Snap out of it. Thinking this way was dangerous. 

I was scared to think that if something were too happen, I wouldn't be able to function properly. I'd be too lost in myself that I wouldn't know where to go from there. I had to stop thinking this way. It was clearly two in the morning. That was the only excuse for my life altering pondering. 

Sleep had invaded my senses. Taking me away from my thoughts. I was transported into a land of deep sleep and dreams. A place where all of my doubts and fears were gone and I was left with simplicity.