N Has Fallen

XXV - Saudade

XXV - Saudade

Saudade
noun
[soh-dah-duh]
a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent

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Her lids fluttered open. Arms instinctively reaching for a warm body but even in her deep sleepy state, she felt the empty space beside her gone cold.

"Noah?" She swung her feet, moving off the bed and walking towards the bathroom. He wasn't there. Maybe Neo took him for a walk, Noah mentioned that he'll talk to him. She didn't know but why does her chest feels heavy?

Swallowed by her own curiosity, she called Neo. Three unanswered calls later, she gave up and tried calling Noah. But he wasn't answering too. Did those bad guys take him? Shaking her head, she chastised herself for her ridiculous thoughts.

She found herself at the ground floor, leaning over the help desk. "Yes ma'am what can I do for you?" The kind nurse smiled politely.

"I'm looking for Noah Arkwright. He was at room 504 but he isn't there anymore." Her foot was tapping against the tiled floors. Where did Noah go? He couldn't possibly left without her, right?

"504 you say?" She nodded and the nurse typed something in the computer. "Noah Arkwright?"

"Yes."

Jess saw the nurse frown making her do the same. What did she find? "I'm sorry ma'am but it says the patient had been discharged."

Discharged? But Noah isn't well yet, why is he out of his room and most importantly why didn't she know?

"You must be mistaken." Maybe she typed in the wrong name. "Can you try again please?"

The nurse nodded and tried finding Noah again. But after a few more tries she gently shook her head and gave Jess a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry ma'am. Our system says he really was discharged."

"W-when?" Her heart sunk, why didn't he let her know?

The nurse looked at the computer then back at her. "Just four hours ago."

She nodded solemnly. "Okay, thank you."

Dragging her heavy body, she let herself wander around the hospital walls calling Noah again and again but he never answered. What was wrong? Was it her? Had she done something wrong? Maybe he's busy and she was just being dramatic. After the incident, she didn't want Noah away from her. Didn't want him getting hurt, what she saw was too much. She doesn't have the strength to handle it when it happens for the second time. She wanted him by her side. Even though she would be more of a burden than a security, there's just a satisfying feeling she feels in seeing him by her side.

She was about to dial his number again when she saw Via's caller ID on her screen. She answered the call.

"Hey." Via chirped enthusiastically.

"Hey." She hoped her voice didn't show how upset she was.

"What's wrong?" But of course Via would know. "I thought you'd be over the rainbow now that your Noah is up and awake."

"N-nothing. I'm happy of course. Why did you call?" She tried diverting the topic and it worked when she replied, "Right, our dean wanted to see you as soon as possible. Do you have time to come to the school right now?"

She was sure the dean is going to lecture her about her grades. She'd been absent for a few days after all. She let out an inaudible sigh and pushed her negative thoughts away, those that consists of Noah's. "Yes. I'll be there in 20."

She was welcomed by a long speech about her failing grades. To others, it looked like she was about to get a 5 but in truth it's about getting a 3. As she listened to their department's dean, she can't help but think about what happened today. Maybe Noah was just busy. Maybe he didn't want to disturb her sleep that's why he left by himself. But no matter how she thought of it, it would always end with Noah leaving her. She scolded herself for being dramatic and not listening to the dean instead. It's not like she doesn't care about her graders, she just realized now there was a whole new world laid out for her outside. Something that is much more exciting than the written words on books, something that she knew she couldn't have when she didn't know Noah. And that was it. He had successfully entered her thoughts again.