Chapter 41: Settle (part 1)

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~Eleanor~

It's easy to judge people when you are not in that situation. I always thought that if I got pregnant at an "inconvenient" time, I would just get an abortion and it would be over. I used to think that girls having babies when they were teenagers were stupid. How could you ruin your life like that when there was a simple solution to your problem? If it would have been one of my friends in the situation I am in, I probably would have put "keeping it" at the bottom of my suggestion list. I was raised in the kind of family who prone the "perfect life" which consists of a happy childhood filled with love from my parents, a good education that leads to a good job, a boyfriend that slowly turns into a husband (only after the good education though,) a stable home you buy once you have stabilized your revenue, and then kids. Once everything is settled, you can have kids. Only then.

For a long time, that was what I wanted. It looked perfect from afar, why would I want anything else? That is the direction my brother took, and he seems perfectly happy. But, sometimes, life doesn't happen the way you want it to. In most cases, it happens exactly the opposite of what you had planned. It's what happened for Ben and me. Life happened while we were busy making plans, is that the saying? Anyway, that's what happened. I was busy making plans for my future career, thinking about where to apply for jobs and Ben was worrying about his future in hockey. We were both thinking about the future of our relationship, hoping our needs would be the same once again. We were getting lost in our routine of school and hockey, and it almost destroyed us. It's a good thing life stopped us from self-destruction. This news could have been the beginning of the end, and maybe it is, but I am fine finding out later. Right now, I am just happy that he didn't run away when I told him I wanted to keep it. We are trying to make it work, thinking about every possibility and every choice we have.

First, there is, of course, the possibility to go back to BC. Ben's contract with the Spitfires' ends this summer. He can either renew it or hope to get drafted by another team closer to our families. That's option one.

Option two is to stay here. Ben would renew his contract for one more year, we would stay in this apartment, and raise our baby here away from our families.

Option three is my least favorite of all. Option three happens if Ben gets drafted in a pro team this summer. If he does, there is no guarantee where we'll end up. We could go to California, Montreal, or even Europe. It's a choice we'll have to make. If he renews his contract this early, he will be sure to have his spot on the team, but it will discourage the pros from drafting him. He is talking about it right now with his coaches at the arena.

If it was entirely up to me, I don't even know if I would stay here or if I would go back to Victoria. I built a life here in the last three years. Plus, we have to stay until the end of the season and the school year this summer before moving if that's what we choose. I'll be seven months pregnant by then, will I want to move across the country? There is just so many variables for us to make a choice right now. I'll just have to wait and see what Mr. Freeman tells Ben... 

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