As I Watch Him Die

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Aiden's POV

"Dude, that's like your sixth cup of coffee in the last two hours." Lucas was staring at me with that typical look he gives anyone who does something he disapproves of. That 'overbearing mom look' that always reminds me of my own mother.   

It kind of makes me want to punch him, and apologize at the same time.

I lowered the cup from my lips and set it down on the table. I was aware that my caffeine addiction was out of control, but control was never something I was good at dominating in the first place.

"You'd think with how clean you eat, you'd at least limit your coffee consumption." He muttered as he took the cup off my desk and threw it away in a nearby trash can.

I understood Lucas himself was a bit of a health nut, but it still bothered me that he watched what I ate so closely. I didn't like the feeling of my diet being monitored, it was unnerving. Especially by my friend who seems to have no other social life besides me and Axel.

Not that I'm one to talk.

I forced my tone to sound careless, bored even. "Would you rather I sneak alcohol to school? Maybe wine if I feel fancy."

Lucas snorted, as he sat casually down across from me at the table. Class had just ended, and we all decided to sit outside before our next classes started in twenty minutes. "You? That's something Axel would do, not you."

"I'm not a total alcoholic." Axel defended himself, to which gave him two incredulous looks from me and Lucas.

"Yes, you are." We both said in unison.

His eyes narrowed, "Damn, okay, I see how it is."

"Don't be upset." Lucas said almost sympathetically, "I've tried helping you with your alcohol consumption, but you only ever shut me up with your middle finger, so I've given up." And to that, Lucas received Axel's crude finger in response.

Lucas rolled his eyes and returned his focus back to me, "So, Aiden, how was last night?"

It was at this moment, I wished I had my coffee cup in my hand, so I could take a drink and feign ignorance. "It was fine." He was referring to the girl, Lynette, that I had met at a bar last night. I took her back to my dorm unwillingly, just to arrogantly prove to both Lucas and Axel that I wasn't a fucking loser who passed up the perfect opportunity to sleep with a girl who was more than willing. Even if I myself was certainly averse.

Plus, she was absolutely beautiful. I had no excuse to not let her sleep with me.

"That's it?" Axel butted in, "Just fine? Tell me how her body felt. Is she as hot naked as she is with clothes? Fuck man give us something."

I didn't want to think about it. Lynette and I did sleep together, and afterwards I went straight to the bathroom and hid there like a coward until she fell asleep. I tried throwing up the alcohol I had drank earlier, but instead, I ended up sitting on the floor and hating myself for letting her touch my body.

My stomach felt like it was in knots all night long. I barely slept and when I did, I ended up sleeping on the couch since I couldn't bear the thought of being close to her again.

She will probably never want to be with me again. I'd rather kill myself than be with her again.

But it's demeaning to be unwanted because of how disgusting your body is.

I ran harder than I ever have this morning. Allowing the wind to shake off my regret and bitter self-hatred. Today was a new day, I don't want to think about last night ever again.