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Review by Lone Wolf: An April Sort of Place

Book Title: An April Sort of Place

Author: Buttertech

Reviewer: GryffindorsLoneWolf

Summary: 2/5

The summary was really short and concise, which I don't completely have a problem with. You use unusual twice however, and within the three sentences there isn't much covered. Try introducing a couple of crucial characters, maybe build some suspense with a conflict of sorts. It doesn't need to be so short.

Grammar: 2/5

It felt like there were commas in every sentence, sometimes unnecessarily, sometimes not where they were needed. There weren't any tense shifts, but considering that the story's being told from the children's point of view, how could they have known what their mother sensed in the back of her head? Try to be careful of that. Also...numbers are usually typed out in stories/books. The numerical form isn't usually used, unless something is being referenced in the book that the character's seeing.

Character Building: 3/5

I didn't get to read much of the story, since there were four chapters...but there wasn't a lot of character building. It starts off talking about Ashi, then and then mentions how she lost...and then switches to Grandpa Nade. My suggestion? Cut the beginning chapters and start with Grandpa Nade's story. Or start off the book falling in the hands of the children currently, since a lot of importance has been put on the book (in the summary and the following chapters). Add more descriptions about the characters. We have no idea what they look like, even after four chapters. I do think it was nice, pitting the cautious mother against the stubborn dad, because it contrasted their characters well, so good job with that!

Writing Style: 3.5/5

There was a variation in sentence structure, but it seemed like I was reading the same thing over and over again. Minute details aren't really needed in flashbacks (when you look at the book overall); details about the surroundings, the way the family interacts with each other, those would be more interesting to read. Some of the shorter sentences could be combined into longer ones, and your longer sentences could be cut. Try not to word dump when describing; a few words about the scene or place is better than listing a bunch of words.

Plot + Uniqueness: 3/5

I didn't read much and because the chapters are short, I can't really comment about this. I do like how you started in the present and went to the past. But the shift was sudden, and for no reason to, other than explaining why the scavenger hunt existed...which didn't really get explained. How does this book concern the kids of the current generation? Does it fall into their hands? You've left me with more questions unanswered, which is good: you're keeping the suspense up. But add more descriptions, and tie it in to the present. It is a unique plot, and I like the premise of the story, how it takes place in a wooded area, and is set away from modern society. But add more descriptions. It's okay if the chapter is longer, unless you're trying to keep a lower word count per chapter.

OVERALL SCORE: 13.5/25