𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. carl grimes

5 - AGAIN

"We should lay her down." I suggested to Maggie and she nods.

I help her lay Lori down, who's looking so pale and looks like she's about to pass about.

"Mom, mom. Hey, hey look at me, look at me." Carl tells his mom. "Keep your eyes open."

"Let's get you back to Hershel." I told Lori. She shakes her head weakly and immediately, this awful feeling sits in my chest. "I'm not gonna make it."

My heart aches again as Maggie spoke. "Lori with all this blood, I don't even think you're fully dilated yet."

"I know what it means, and I'm not loosing my baby." My heart started beating fast and I swallow the lump down my throat. "You've got to cut me open."

Maggie froze for a second, before shaking her head. "No, I can't."

"You don't have a choice."

I stood up, not letting this happen. "I'll go get help—"

"No!" Both ladies said in unison, making me stop in my tracks. I froze when Lori insisted for Maggie to cut her open. The latter tries to refuse, but Lori's not having it. "I have no anesthetic, no equipment—" Maggie gets quickly cut off by Lori.

"Carl has a knife."

I looked at Carl, before going to his side as Maggie speaks. "You won't survive."

"My baby has to survive." Lori breathes out. "My baby... for all of us. Please, Maggie, please."

Tears started stinging my eyes but I don't let them fall. Although my heart breaks when I heard Lori beg Maggie one more time.

"Please..."

I swallow down the lump in my throat but it doesn't seem to go away.

"You see my old c-section scar?" Lori asks Maggie but she shakes her head, crying. "I can't..."

"You have to." Lori turns to my best friend. "Carl... Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay? This is what I want. This is right. Now you—you take care of your daddy for me, alright? And your little brother or sister, you take care—"

"You don't have to do this." Carl says to his mother as I watch this heartbreaking scene unfold.

I wish I could do something—anything, but I can't.

"You're gonna be fine." Lori tells her son. "You are gonna beat this world. I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you."

I couldn't contain the tears anymore. And for the first time in a while, I'm crying again.

And the worst part is, my best friend is crying beside me, heart slowly being torn apart. "I love you too."

"You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me, you'll always do what's right." Lori speaks as we cry. "It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So don't—so if it feels wrong, don't do it, alright? If it feels easy, don't do it."

"Don't let the world spoil you. You're so good. You're my sweet boy. The best thing I ever did. I love you." Lori hugs his son and my heart breaks again at the sight. "I love you."

"You're my sweet, sweet boy. I love you." They pull away from the hug. "Okay—okay, now. Okay."

I pulled my best friend in for a hug, hoping that somehow this comforts him. But I know nothing can comfort him, because of what we're about to witness.

"Maggie, when this is over, you're gonna have to—you have to do it. It can't be Rick." I close my eyes as the tears fell, and more, and more, and more.

Carl shakily hands his knife to Maggie, before holding onto me tightly. "Alright, alright. It's alright. It's alright. Whew... good night, love."

"I'm sorry." Was all Maggie said before Lori's screams filled the room and blood was all I can see.

An unknown feeling erupts in my chest when Maggie pulls out the newborn baby. She taps the baby's stomach, but it doesn't cry.

No, no, no...

My negative thoughts were kicked out of the window when I heard the sound of cries. A sound I never thought I'd ever hear again. I quickly removed my jacket as Carl does the same, we gave our jackets to Maggie for her to wrap around the baby.

"We have to go." Maggie stands up and I do too.

"Woah, we can't just leave her here." Carl stops us. "She'll turn."

Suddenly I can feel the gun in my hand again. I gripped the handle, but Carl quickly spoke up. "No."

"Carl." I tried, but I know I have no right.

"She's my mom." A tear fell from my eye and down to my cheek as I nod, before Maggie and I left Carl with his mom alone.

I went first, slowly opening the door but saw that there were still some walkers. Maggie and I were about to go back to Carl, when we heard a gunshot, that made us stop both.

Oh, Carl...

Carl walks pass us with no emotions on his face. Maggie and I looked each other, before following him out.

When we got outside, everyone else was there. Apart from T-Dog...

And my mom.

My heart begins racing again as tears began stinging my eyes. No, no... she's alive, she has to be.

As Rick was asking Maggie where was Lori, we all know the answer. I walked towards Glenn and Daryl, as Rick's sobs fill the air.

"Where's my mom?" I asked Daryl, who couldn't look at me in the eye. "Daryl, where is she?"

I'm dreading to hear the answer because by the looks of the others, it isn't good news. But still, I have to know. I need to know. "She and T, they..."

My heart shatters. "They didn't make it."

He brings something out from his pocket and tears began pouring down my cheek, as I saw that it was my mom's scarf.

"No." That's all it takes for me to start sobbing and bury my face onto my mom's scarf that's in my hands. I cry and cry and nearly choke on my own sobs, but I don't care. I don't care anymore.

No, not again. Not again!

Loosing my dad messed me up bad, loosing members of our group broke my heart, loosing my twin broke my soul. Loosing everyone I loved and grown to care for, broke all my hope and made it vanished away. Every light in me, gone, in just a matter of seconds. But my mom... she told me to hold on, to keep going, to keep holding on to the tiniest bit of hope I can find.

But loosing my mom?

It broke everything in me.