Feather

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“Light as a feather.”

That’s always what she told me when my movements failed. I never really knew what she meant when I was young. Light as a feather wouldn’t help the screaming in my muscles and how they gave way after hours and hours and hours of training. Light as a feather wouldn’t help how I felt like I would collapse at any moment. I could never be light if every part of me felt like lead.

But I suppose it’s not how I feel. It’s how I should look.

I must look effortless, graceful, intimidating and skillful. Every single position should inspire awe in my supporters and fear in my enemies. Even if I want to fall, I must look like I haven’t even broken a sweat.

“Light as a feather.”

One two three and leap… I sailed through the air, feeling a light breeze brush against my skin. Keep the posture, the better the posture, the better the leap. Legs straight as a ruler, yet prepared to land. Arms poised, fingers together… A million thoughts through the mind, before I could even land.

I landed, the same as my teacher told me to, legs bent and evenly apart. For a moment, I thought I had finally did it. I had finally made a perfect jump. Light as a feather. Light as a feather. Light as a-

My legs buckled and the ground rushed up to meet me.

It took a while for the world to stop spinning. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I had banged my head pretty badly. But I couldn’t sit and wait for me to recover, that just wasn’t what I was taught to do.

Always stand up after you fall, quickly as you can. If you do it quick enough, she won’t notice, and you won’t get in trouble. The truly best will carry on until they deteriorate to their very bones.

“Light as a feather.”

It took me longer than I hoped to stand up again. I was drained. Unmotivated.

I knew what would happen if I gave up, though, and I would not risk it.

A couple of steps, a pose. A looked around at the city below, shimmering with flickering lights and busy life. I saw everything I can, from the drunken rabble below to the rushing train in the distance.

I held. Then… One step, two step, three, and I leapt.

“Light as a feather.”

And a bird flew ahead, and a feather floated down.

“Light as a feather.”

It was so graceful, gently swinging in the breeze as it drifted down.

“Light as a feather.”

A mistake, an incorrect position, too distracted...

I plummeted.

It’s a shame that I couldn’t fall like a feather.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 11, 2019 ⏰

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