𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞¹ (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

66. the beginning of the end

When Finn and I were younger, we would read the same book every night before bed. It was a book from Earth, one that had been on the Ark for decades. It was called "Guess How Much I Love You" and had a famous line which read "I love you to the Moon and back."

Finn and I always found that line comical, as we were closer to the Moon than we were to Earth. We had changed the saying to "I love you to the Earth and back" and said it to each other every single night.

It was after we were done reading said book, that our parents would instruct me that it was time to hide. I cried every night when those words were spoken.

When we were 5, Finn had asked why it always had to be me who hid. My parents explained to him, that they had made a choice when we were born, and that it just had to be that way. I remember crying quietly to myself until a small figure appeared at the door to the cupboard where I stayed hidden.

Finn was standing there with his pillows and blankets. He didn't say a word as he laid them down on the ground. He reached his hand out to me and I grabbed onto it. He did that every night without fail until we were about twelve.

Thinking about that now, as hundreds of people called for retribution for his crime of slaughtering of a village of innocent people, I couldn't-I wouldn't believe it was the same boy who wanted to sacrifice himself for me, who laid with me every night, who always put others before himself. Hell, he had even gotten himself arrested so Raven wouldn't get caught. The Finn I knew was the most selfless person I had ever known, and that made all of this 100 times harder.

"We'll get this figured out." Bellamy promised as he, Clarke and I made our way through camp in search of Finn. Once the crowds had died down, we instructed him to find a quiet part of camp and wait it out. Meanwhile, the three of us worked on fortifying the camp to ensure no Grounders were getting in.

I gave Bellamy a sad smile as we approached Finn who was sitting with Murphy, a somber look covering his face.

Upon our arrival, Finn stood, giving me a sad glance before focusing his attention on Bellamy who had begun speaking, informing him of our plan to reenforce all the defenses.

My brother nodded, "I'll see where they're thin."

Bellamy shut him down, "No, you should head inside. B corridor will be easier to defend...if it comes to that."

Finn stared back at the three of us, shaking his head slightly, "I'm not going to hide."

"Yes," I announced, giving my twin a stern glare, "You are."

Clarke chimed in in agreement, "Your sister's right. Right now we have to think about keeping you safe. I'm going to talk to Lincoln."

"Come on," Bellamy announced as the three of us turned, prepared to make our way inside.

When Finn didn't follow, I turned to him, "Let's go." I ordered, more forcefully than I had intended.

Finn let out a frustrated sigh as he fell into step with Bellamy and I. Clarke stayed behind, speaking with Murphy about who knows what. If it was any other day I might have been interest in what they were saying, but today I had bigger things to deal with.

"You're not going to get like this." Finn whispered to me as we made our way inside.

"Like what?" I muttered, not looking over at him.

He grabbed a hold of my arm, causing me to come to a halt. Bellamy paused as he looked back at the two of us. I let out a harsh exhale as I met eyes with Bellamy, "We'll be in in a second." I promised.

Once Bellamy had disappeared inside, Finn forced me to look at him, "You can't save me from this." he announced which caused me to bite down on my lip in frustration.