"He's so sweet and caring and loving...and I couldn't ask for more." Her eyes locked into mine, full of admiration and love. "I mean, I really think he's the one." She sighed, a happy sighed, where it expresses that she already found the one who will love her, that she won't need to find love because it already found her, that it's time for me to stop what I'm feeling, that it's time for me to let her go.
"You spent too much time with him, that you forgot you have me in the first place." I accidentally snapped and her happy eyes turned into a sad one.
I'm sorry, but let me be a selfish one, just this time, just this one last time.
"I-I'm...sorry. But, I promise you, I'll spend my time with you tomorrow, just the two of us, in a whole day." She showed me her gummy smile, my weakness, she knew that I'll forgive her if she will show me that kind of her side. "I promise, Lili." I just sighed in defeat and nodded.
Hurt yourself more, and you'll be free at the end. Get used to it, until it can't hurt you anymore.
"Goodnight." I lazily said and end the video call, not bothering how she would feel, not bothering what was supposed to be her respond.
Nini 💛
I'm sorry again. I promise you, tomorrow. Goodnight! I love you Lili.
I just sighed and turned off the phone before going into another sleepless night.
—
"Why so early, darling?"
I just shrugged and poke the pancakes, while staring at the wall. " I couldn't sleep."
"Are you okay? Did you had an attack last night?" I just sighed and shook my head.
I wish it happened.
"I'm sorry." I spoke as I look into the eyes of a woman who gave birth to me and sacrifice herself for 9 months. "Because of me, you're suffering too."
"Sweetheart, don't talk like that. I love you, okay? And I'm gonna do anything." She sternly said and hugged me. "Now eat and rest. Okay?" I just nodded and gave her my best smile.
I'm sorry mom. I promise, you're not gonna suffer anymore. And don't blame yourself ever.
Afternoon came and I groggily woke up from my nap, cause after I ate, I already found myself in my bed again and woke up at 2:47pm. Not even surprise for myself that I always feel tired, much worse, dying.
I remembered what she promised yesterday. I'm whipped as fuck, that at the end, I always forgive her, that I always say sorry to much even though it was her fault, that I gave too much, and it end me, hurting too much.
I lazily change my clothes and went out, not before telling my mother where I'm going and saying goodbye with a kiss on her cheeks.
After my peaceful walk, I arrived in front of her house. The guards noticed me and immediately opened the gates. "Good afternoon Ms. Manoban." They bowed their head and I just nodded.
"Ah darling, what brought you here? Come here, come here." Jennie's mom greeted me with a kiss on my cheeks and I returned it with a smile.
"Hello mom. How are you?" I asked when we both sat down face to face.
"Aigoo kid, don't bother asking me that. But I'm fine. How are you? Did you have another attack?"
