Frostbitten Past

X L I

IT WAS a dream; it had to be. She could feel the lick of the flames on her skin, and she could see the fire, but she knew it couldn't really be happening.

She could see above the flames, and when she looked straight ahead, she could see the girl from the pond. Her eyes were wide and sad, looking at Andorra with the sort of loneliness that Andorra understood all too well. There was something in the girl's eyes that told Andorra that she too had been bullied, picked on so ruthlessly that she felt as though she were worth nothing.

The girl stretched her hand forward, towards Andorra. It was a wordless plea for Andorra to join her, to stand side by side, fighting the bad guys together.

Andorra reached for the girl's hand, but she felt another hand on her shoulder. Before she could turn, the girl yelled NO! and she took a step away from Andorra, trembling. When Andorra turned, it was Noah behind her, his face a mask.

"Don't go," he said, pleading with her, grabbing her hand. He laced his fingers, then brought it to his mouth so he could kiss the back of her hand. His eyes were begging her.

The girl was crying. Her mouth was moving, but no sounds were leaving her lips. If Andorra focused hard enough, she could make out the words please don't leave me here!

Andorra reached towards the girl, stretching her hand out again. "Come with us! It'll be safe, I promise."

The girl shook her head, the tears stopping instantly. She seemed to grow bigger, taller, harder. "He'll hurt us! He'll hurt us like they all do!"

There was such torture in the girl's voice that Andorra found it hard to believe that she wasn't being bullied, or abused. "He won't. I promise he won't! He isn't like the others."

The girl looked at Andorra with angry eyes. "Like Shaniah?"

It had to be a dream, because how else would the girl know Shaniah? Andorra told herself this as she watched the girl grow bigger. "Yeah, like her. He won't hurt you like that."

The girl tipped her head back, laughing. "Tell all do, Andorra! Don't be daft! They all hurt you, and they all want something from you! They all expect you to be someone you aren't, and for the rest of your life, they'll continue to hurt you, wishing you were someone else, wishing you were a better Princess, a stronger Princess, a more frugal Princess! They'll want and want and want until there is nothing left of you!"

Andorra heard the truth in her words. They were sweet and strong and reminded her of the lemonade from her aunt. Dangerous. Lethal. Poisonous words.

"That isn't true." But Andorra wasn't so sure they weren't true, because it was a fear of her own: that she wouldn't be enough, even if everyone kept saying she would be. This had to be a dream because there was no way that girl would know her fears.

"Come with me. I'll protect us both! I already did it once, at your school, with that man. I saved the both of us, don't you remember? And if you come with me, I'll save you from everyone! We can show them that you aren't a weak little girl. You're meant for greatness, with or without them! You don't need them, Andorra."

There was more Andorra wanted to ask, like how she knew about the man from the high school she killed, but there was no time. Noah was yanking her back, pulling her away, yelling things in her ear that she couldn't understand. The whole time, she watched the girl, watched the way her eyes hardened and her mouth twisted, and the way she yelled you will regret this! without making any sound.

Dream or not, Andorra felt that the girl and her message were very real. And when she awoke, she wore the same outfit, the same dress, despite not ever putting it on before bed. And when she looked beside her, there, in bed, was Noah.