𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. carl grimes

22 - REALIZE

There's blood on my palm. I've been coughing and coughing since this morning, my stomach isn't okay and I don't feel okay.

I hid from Carl and the others, avoiding them as much as I could. I know I have to tell them eventually, but I don't know how.

"Farren?" I tensed up when I heard my mom's voice behind me.

I immediately wiped the blood off of my hands. "Y-Yeah?"

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you—" When my mom got in front of me, her face dropped and tears immediately filled her eyes. "Oh, baby no..."

I covered my mouth as I cough, there's droplets of blood on my hands. I sniffed, feeling lightheaded. "Mom... I have it."

My mom's lips shake as she covers them with her hand to prevent herself from sobbing. "W-We have to take you in."

I nod with a sigh. "I know, I know."

She pulls out a cloth from her pocket before giving it to me. I cough into it, trying my best to stop because my lungs feels like it's burning every time I cough. My mom helps me stand up and leads me to cellblock A, where the sick people are being kept.

"Who else is in here?" I asked once we were inside.

"Glenn, Sasha and a few more." My mom tells me and I frowned. Glenn and Sasha has it, they don't deserve this, none of us do.

My mom opens the door with shaky hands. "You're gonna be alright, baby. I'm not gonna loose you."

I nod my head before hesitantly hugging my mom. She hugs back immediately. "Mom... p-promise me something."

I know I said that I don't like promises, but I need her to promise me this.

"What is it?" She asked me.

"If..." I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "If Carl finds out that I'm sick... m-make sure he doesn't try to come here."

I pulled away from my mom and looked up at her. "I know Carl, and I know he'll try to break in here to see me. D-Don't let him, okay? No matter what, don't let him get in here."

My mom nods her head before pulling me in for another hug. "I promise."

I breathe out a sigh. "Take care of yourself for now, mom. I'll come back, I'll come back and take care of you."

After we pulled away, I got inside and waved goodbye to my mom, before going up the steps.

— later

"Farren?" Glenn's voice invades my ears and I sat up from my bed, seeing him by the cell gate of my cell.

"Hey," I stood up, only to feel lightheaded and stumbled a little.

He weakly assists me and sits me back down on my bed. Glenn proceeded on sitting down on the cold floor, leaning his back against the bunk with a sigh.

"I thought I heard Hershel wrong when he said you have it too." He mumbled and I weakly smiled at him. "Does Carl know about this?"

My small smile drops and Glenn noticed, nodding his head in realization. "I get why you didn't tell him. He'd react just like Maggie would, maybe even worse, considering..."

I waited for him to continue the sentence but he stayed silent, so I took the liberty of asking him. "Considering what?"

Glenn looks at me, the tiredness and exhaustion evident on his face. I wish I could do something to make him feel better but we're at the same condition. I waited for Glenn to answer my question and he looks at me weirdly for a second, then gives out a small smile with a chuckle. I was confused; what did he mean?

"You don't really know, do you?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "I think he'd react worse than Maggie would, considering he's young... and in love."

I almost choked on nothing.

I coughed, not due to the sickness but due to what Glenn had stated. I wasn't expecting to hear that, and I don't know if I should believe that.

"Why would he be in love?"

There's a small part of me that wishes that what Glenn said is true. Because I admit, I feel things that aren't friendly feelings towards Carl. I won't admit that verbally, although I know it's true.

"What do you think?" Glenn questions back, then proceeding on standing up. "Farren, I know you know that Carl loves you as his best friend and all, but don't be too blind. He loves you, much more than a friend and I think everyone can see that."

I'm speechless.

Glenn messes up my hair a little and smiled at me. "Get some rest. You need it."

Nodding, he left without another word and left me inside that cell in my confused thoughts. I tried to get some shuteye, but my brain and heart won't let me. I'm physically tired but mentally disturbed.

I like Carl.

I do and I've only realized that now. All those times that I care for him, that I worry for him, wasn't just because he's my best friend. It's because I like him.

The fear of the thought that Carl doesn't feel the same, that what Glenn said could all be false, and our friendship getting ruined, clouds my thoughts. I can't tell him I like him or at least not for now. I'll tell him when I'm ready, when I think the time is right.

If Carl doesn't feel the same, it's okay. I'll still be his best friend no matter what. But... what if he feels the same way? What do I do then?

I groaned quietly and turned to my side, forcing myself to just go to sleep. But I can't. Groaning again, I got something under my pillow, which is a notebook where I write down anything I want. I started writing about what happened earlier, about what me and Glenn talked about.

So what they say was true. Boys do mess up girls.

Because Carl is messing me up real bad right now, and this sickness isn't helping.

While my mind keeps thinking of a thousand ways of what could happen if I tell Carl, I didn't realized that I had already drift off to sleep.

—~—

sorry if this looks a bit rushed, i'm currently stressing over midterms but i wanted to grant your guys' request on updating :)