❛❛ i had everything figured it out when she became a part of my universe.❜❜
「CHAEKOOK FF」
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「past title: love story」
photo credit: @chaekookrise on Instagram
[guys, i found a gem! i am way too in love with this song and i think it fits perfectly for this chapter. also, go and check on keshi's music! they are all great and i swear to God, you'll fall in love]
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I am lost in my deep thoughts and in this drowning pain in my heart. It really makes feel so uncomfortable that I have this mixed feelings. I am such a fool for letting go someone so important to me...again.
It just breaks my heart so much seeing someone so happy but you'll never be the reason for their happiness because the truth is you're shit to fall for someone and a shit to let them go when they were so sincere of their feelings for you. And even if you wanted to bring back the old sweet days, you can't because you darn fuck it all up. Jungkook is right! I am selfish. I am selfish for what I want and I want him but I can't have him because...because I already lost him because of my selfishness.
As we landed back home, going out from the arrival gate, I quickly spotted my sister Irene, Yeri and the guys with big smiles on their faces as they wave 'hello' to us and Hoseok proudly raising the banner with the words written, 'WELCOME HOME CHAENG AND TAEHYUNG!'
Everyone had their happy faces except for Irene. Her face shifted to a more serious face as she saw walking towards them. "Hey guys!" Taehyung faintly said. My sister went up to me. I bowed my head down, embarrassed to show her my red eyes from crying. She lifted my chin up and I tried to pull out a smile for them but tears were the ones that came out. "It'd be really nice for me to say to you, "I'm okay!" but I'm really not I'm hurting so bad. I'm a fool, Irene! I should've not went out there!"
"Shhhh! You don't have to say it, honey. I got you!" she whispered to me and gave a tight hug as I drench myself in tears. Everyone gathered all around and did a group hug.
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When you have scar, you use medicines or anything to make it heal as fast as it can. The scars inside me are no scars that can be treated on any medicine or anything but only time can heal it and also your perspective on how you think. Because if you still think of how broken you are even how in so many years, you won't heal. In a my many years of waiting, healing, trying to be a better self, I think I'm healed.
I started to pack luggage on Jungkook and moved it aside. I guess it's the best way for me to forget the pain, the love, and forget him. I enrolled myself back to the university and I am together studying with Yeri and after 2 years, we finally graduated and with Latin honors. Yeri and I are both Cum Laude's.
I also continued my profession on playing a cello and a step closer to being a professional cellist. My friendship with Jaebum was good. We tried to date for 7 months which part of my plan of forgetting my painful past but it didn't really work since he still loves his late wife and I kind of had issues with dating someone.
