undertow | bellamy blake (book one)

29 | learn not to fear

When Jovie realized it was Anya and her Grounders that had attacked, she immediately put on a stone cold face. Anya was a warrior. Jovie didn't think fear was even in her vocabulary. That meant that even if she had to pretend, she wasn't going to be afraid. The thing was, half of her actually wasn't even afraid. The other half of her knew she should be.

"We walked for about three miles after crossing that creek, another two or so before we got to the road," Finn commented.

"I don't think it matters, Finn. They didn't blindfold us, which means they don't care what we saw. They're probably gonna kill us," Clarke replied before looking over at Anya. "What do you want from us?" Anya cut Clarke free and revealed a little girl laying on a table.

"Help her. If she dies, he dies," she said, meaning Finn. Jovie swallowed the lump in her throat. They couldn't kill Finn. She wouldn't let them. "Her name is Tris."

"I can't do this. I don't have any equipment," Clarke said. She sounded desperate, scared even. Jovie knew it was because Finn's life was on the line.

"We'll provide you with what we can," Anya said.

"Why do you think I can save her?" Clarke questioned.

"Lincoln told her," Finn said from his spot on the ground.

"Yes. Our healer is gone. There's nothing we can do for her. For his sake, I hope you can," Anya said.

"Clarke, you can do this," Finn encouraged her.

"Wait, what happened to her?" Clarke asked.

"She was on the bridge when your bomb exploded. You did this to her," Anya said. Jovie internally sighed. They were destruction. It's like they couldn't stop.

"Clarke, you need to do it," Jovie spoke up assertively. Like Anya said, they did this to her. Now it was time to try to make things better. If Clarke couldn't at least try to help a little girl, then how would they ever expect to get peace?

♛

Jovie watched with her arms crossed as Finn and Clarke tried to help Tris. She felt anxious not being able to help, but she wasn't knowledgeable when it came to medicine. She was more familiar with fighting.

"She's getting worse," Finn noted.

"Help me lift her up. Oh my God, here we go. She's not moving any air on the left. There's fluid pressing on her lungs," Clarke said as she listened to the girl's lungs. Jovie looked over at Anya who was watching the two intensely, like she was ready to step in the second they tried something.

"I don't see an entry wound," Finn said.

"No. It wasn't shrapnel. It was trauma. The force of the explosion, it hit her in the chest. She's drowning in her own blood. She can't breathe," Clarke explained. "I have to relieve the pressure. I need a small tube, something rigid the size of my finger." The Grounder nearby grabbed something close enough to what Clarke was asking for and handed it to her.

"Fifth intercostal space. This better work," Clarke said before making an incision and shoving the tube into it. "You're okay. Breathe." Jovie stepped forward to watch blood come out of the tube.

"What have you done?" Anya demanded.

"No, you don't understand. She couldn't breathe," Clarke tried to explain. Anya shoved Clarke to the ground to get to Tris.

"Back off!" Finn yelled, rushing around to try to help Clarke. One of Anya's Grounders didn't hesitate in grabbing Finn and slamming him to the ground next to Clarke. Jovie should have just stayed quiet, but she had to do something. She always had to do something.

"You asked Clarke to help. She did!" Jovie said sternly, approaching Anya straight on. The woman glared at her, but no one touched Jovie like they had with Clarke and Finn. Jovie stared back at her with the same fierceness in her eyes.

"You better watch yourself, Natstrecha," Anya said. Jovie didn't say anything but she didn't waver either. Anya pushed past Jovie to get to Tris, reaching her hand out to feel Tris's skin. "She's hot."

"Her heart rate is way up. She's probably septic," Clarke said.

"What does that mean?" Anya asked.

"It means her blood is poisoned."

"What about this stuff?" Finn asked Caliban, one of Anya's Grounders, as he held up a bottle.

"That slows bleeding," he answered.

"Coagulant. No. Lincoln had that same stuff at the dropship," Clarke replied.

"I don't see any antibiotics. Maybe that lake seaweed?" Finn suggested.

"She doesn't need seaweed. She needs real medicine!" Clarke said in frustration before turning to face Anya. "How could you send a little girl into battle? What is wrong with you people?"

"She was with me. She was my second. It's how we train them to be warriors," Anya said, as if it were obvious. Jovie thought back to the village that she watched, the one with all the children. She had seen them training to fight. Some of them were so young and yet they did not hold back as they learned the ways of Trikru.

"I've seen it," Jovie said. Anya looked over at her with an unreadable expression. Maybe she shouldn't have said that, but they already knew that she had been watching them. Admitting to it wasn't going to change anything. "They learn not to fear."

"Oh, so the killing can just go on and on," Clarke said.

"Clarke-" Finn said, realizing that Clarke was stepping into dangerous territory.

"You put the bomb on the bridge. You did this to her!" Anya said as she walked around to stand face-to-face with Clarke. Jovie looked over when she heard Tris gasping for air and found herself reaching out to grab her hand. She didn't know exactly why she did it. Maybe it was because she reminded her a bit of Charlotte or maybe it was because she felt guilty that she was suffering because of something they had done. But it didn't matter why she did it. She just knew she had to.

♛

"Okay. I'm gonna need your blood," Clarke said to Anya as she prepped for Tris's blood transfusion.

"No."

"You're from the same tribe. It's the best match we're gonna get," Clarke said. Jovie was still holding onto the girl's hand, feeling almost like that was the only way she could help. Clarke and Finn were the ones that could do the medical things. Jovie was just there to make sure they got it done.

"Clarke, if you're gonna do something, you have to do it now," Finn said.

"Just use mine," Jovie said, holding out her arm for Clarke. Clarke looked down at Tris's arm, trying to find a vein to put the syringe into.

"I can't find a vein. She's clamping down. She's lost too much blood," she said. Jovie looked down when she felt the little girl's hand loosen in her own and frowned when she saw the girl's chest had stopped moving up and down.

"Clarke, she's not breathing," Jovie said. Clarke glanced up from trying to find the vein and frowned when she saw that Jovie was right. It was silent for a long time while Anya stepped forward to stare at Tris.

"Take him away and kill him," Anya ordered. One of the Grounders grabbed Finn and dragged him away. Clarke's screams sounded far away as Jovie stood frozen as she watched her friend being pulled away from them. She urged her legs to move to chase after him but she felt like she was stuck in quicksand.

Eventually Clarke must have just gotten tired of screaming and begging them because she finally calmed down and sat slumped against the wall, staring at the door that they had dragged Finn out of. Meanwhile, Jovie was still standing next to Tris's body, staring at the dead little girl.

"Yu gonplei ste odon," Anya said quietly as she stood above the young girl's lifeless body.

"What does that mean?" Jovie found herself asking. Anya looked over at Jovie, her face as equally stoic as Jovie's.

"Your fight is over," Anya answered. Jovie nodded, repeating the words again in her head to engrain them in. She had a feeling she would be hearing a lot of those words.