Something There

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Songs for this chapter:
• Be Alright - Dean Lewis
• everytime - Ariana Grande

Chapter Thirty-Seven:

Bryce's POV

I take another hit of my cigarette, looking up at the stars in the night sky.

I'm fucking done with everything. I screw things up every single damn time, but I keep coming back for more.

I don't know why I think things will change, seeing as they never do, but I'm just a huge fuckup.

I don't know how she hasn't noticed yet.

We have a cycle. I screw up, she forgives me, we're good for a few weeks, repeat.

The worst part is seeing her hurt and knowing that I'm the reasoning behind it. It causes my heart to shatter to a million pieces every time.

All I want to do is run back to her, kiss her on the lips, and tell her how much I care about her. I would do anything to be able to pull her into my arms, to fall asleep to her on my chest again, to call her mine once and for all.

But no. Of course not.

Karma's a bitch, so why should I be allowed happiness for more than a week straight?

I've been outside since right after the New Year's countdown ended, and when I look at my phone to see what time it is, I discover that it's a little past 2 AM, meaning that I've been out here for far too long.

She'd kill me if she caught me smoking again.

Oh wait. No she wouldn't.

Because, to quote what she told me herself, she doesn't 'give a fuck'. Good to hear. Good to know. Glad to see that one less person in the world cares about me.

Most people are gone now, proven by the fact that the music is finally shut off. I've been biting back tears the whole time I've been out here, but it seems that I just can't fucking hold them back anymore because I begin to sob, hard.

I hate crying. It makes me feel so weak and defenceless.

I didn't think that things would get this out of hand when I had that first conversation with Mateo.

All I did was ask him to stay away from her for a little bit, just so I could spend some more time alone with her. He was always following her around like a lost puppy, and I missed her so damn much when I moved away.

The issue was that he wouldn't comply, which is when I threatened to put in a bad word about him to her.

The moment I saw Blossom's face again after that conversation, I regretted everything. I wished I could turn back time and erase that whole conversation Mateo and I had from history, but that's clearly not possible, so it didn't happen, and now I'm out here feeling like shit.

I hear the back door open, and the only person that I can imagine would be looking for me would be my dad, probably coming to find me and yell at me to start cleaning up all the shit inside.

That was our agreement as far as this party went; I have to make sure that the house is spotless within twenty-four hours.

He was definitely right, that smart bastard. When I told him about what I did on Christmas, he was in total shock. It took him a few moments, but after he regained his composure, his first thought was to tell me that I should tell her before Mateo did.

He tried to convince me that I should call her right then and there, but I didn't want to spoil her Christmas.

To my complete surprise, the person to sit down beside me on the stairs isn't my dad. It's Blossom.