Azure Saviour | dark h.s.

forty five | 45

My heart....I'm - fjkldsjafls

Let's say hi to C everyone, my broken queen needs hugs. 

S x

an·gel

Céline.

Waking up during the night, I was startled when I didn't find Harry next to me. Everything that he'd done since I met him, has permanently been tattooed in my mind — and in my heart. But, the way he comforted me, was something that I've never felt before. I craved it, even when he was right beside me. I wanted to be by his side, every second of every minute.

The tingling sensation my body had sparked with electricity and comfort, shook my entire soul. Every part of me needed to experience it; and I did — whenever his skin met mine. Whether it be an innocent forehead kiss, the soft touch of his hand, or his arms wrapped around my figure. He held my heart captive and I knew that he wasn't going to let it go. My heart was locked in his own, but he didn't hold the key — I did.

With the love that we have, we protect each other, making sure neither of us fall, break, or shatter; and if it happens, we go down together and will find a way to get back up even stronger.

The second I heard the doctors telling me, 'we're sorry', it rang through in my ears. I just froze in my spot. I couldn't move. I felt numb. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it, because I thought it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. I thought it was just some joke that Hazel played. She loved to joke around, but as soon as they covered her body — I knew it was over. I knew that it wasn't a game, and that it was real as could be.

One moment, my sweet niece was smiling at me, her hand holding mine; the next, her eyes closed and the warmth of her touch slowly faded.

The last words she told me, nearly broke my heart, yet made me feel the happiest woman alive. She told me that, Harry loved me, and she knew I loved him — and that she loved me even more. She told me that I was special and that I was the one who kept her going, even when the doctors didn't believe she was going to make it this long. She knew she was older than her actual age and used it to her advantage — to help others, even before she truly planned on it.

Her mentality was like a mature adult, not an eight year old. She gave me her small teddy bear, the one that I gave her the first time I met her. She said that it gave her happiness and that I should have it; and that it would make me happy, so I could always remember her. If only she knew, that I could never forget her.

I was a bit shocked when she said Harry came to visit her a few weeks ago. He came on his own and just to visit her alone — twice. She said that his trip was just for her. It made her feel special, like how I was his kind of special. She told me that Harry loves me, even though everything in his mind was a chaotic mess; but he knew that what his true feelings are. Hazel knew he had to move on from his past and helped him in a way that I couldn't.

I love Hazel for that. Not for telling Harry the things that he already knew, but for already knowing what we were feeling on the inside. She had a gift. She was my gift. She was a gift to this world.

Those were the thoughts that I had before I went on my search for the one person that knew how to comfort me; the one person that I let comfort me. I wasn't mad at him when he came to find me. I was mad at everything — everything but him. All I wanted to do was have him hold me. Even with what I did to him, the yelling, the screaming, the hitting, he never went anywhere — he stayed. He never left me.

I had to tell him that I loved him in that moment. I couldn't not say it. Time was precious. Like I told him, one second life is here, the next, it's gone. I didn't want him to leave without him knowing how I felt. I kissed him back, when he crashed his lips on mine. I felt everything he wanted me to feel. I felt the passion, I felt his sorrow, I felt the love he had towards me. I needed him and I had him.