Please Me (under construction)

ѕιх

мerc jaĸoвѕ pov

I wanted to scream. So I did. The music was loud and it fueled the headache I was currently blessed with. My wolf was pacing nervously. He seemed to be on edge and I didn't like that feeling. I went to get dressed so I can escape into the forest until the party ended and so I can stand watch. When I reached the bottom of the stairs my heart broke at the scene in front of me. Jenifer had her lips locked onto Michael's, one of my ex best friends. My wolf wanted to rip him apart but I reminded him how we had no right to do so and continued on to the forest. I prayed to the Goddess to kill me tonight, but she said no like always. 

My wolf wanted to go back in there and drag her away from Michael but we can't do that. We aren't meant for anyone. We bring people down. We don't deserve to claim her as our mate because she should have someone better. She needs a man, not a boy. She needs someone who doesn't cry all the time and who can speak above a whisper. She needs someone who isn't me and as much as it hurts me to say this and hear him whine and whimper in sadness he knows I'm right. I shift into my grey and white wolf and run into the dark forest.

 When the coast is clear and I'm far away from the pack house I let out a loud heartbroken song. I let whoever hear me hear my pain and loneliness. I let whoever hear me judge me for being weak. I howl up to the moom until I couldn't anymore and lay down to rest. "Please forgive me, Mi Reina." I whisper in my mind. I shut my eyes and whimper at the scene that happens everytime I do. I snap my eyes open quickly and the images dissolve. I didn't need sleep anyway. I passed out a couple of hours ago in my office earlier.

When I ran back to the pack house, the music was quiet but the lights were still on and I quickly dressed and tried to slip my way up the stairs pass the people on clean up duty. I smelled of dirt and grass and I desperately needed a shower. When I got into my room, I slumped against my door before I froze in place. She's here. I can smell her. I almost moan at the scent, but I quickly composed myself. "How can I help you, Alpha Aslina?" I said in a professional tone. As much as I wanted her to claim me and take me in everyway, I can't allow that to happen because I am meant to be alone. I can't bring her image down. A strong powerful woman on the arms of a weak, pathetic Alpha. I shouldn't even be called one.

"Go take a shower. Then we'll talk." She demanded calmly. My legs trembled at her tone and I wished to be able to have the honour to kneel beside her and lay my head on her lap. I shake my head and make my way to my shower. I grabbed my clothes and towel and lock  myself into the bathroom. I don't want her accidentally seeing something as disgusting as myself. 

The shower was quick and I pulled on my T-shirt and usually I didn't wear night pants, but she was here and she will see the marks on my legs if I didn't. I washed my face and dried my hair before making my way back out to her. "What is it that you need?" My self control was slowly breaking. She was laying on my bed and that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. In that moment, she looked ethereal, out of this world. I was afraid that if I touch her she'd slip through my fingers and never come back. My wolf focused on her milk chocolate legs and he imagined them wrapped around my head as her legs trembled on the verge of an orgasm. I quickly erased that thought though. We can't have her. We can't have anyone.

"Come lay with me." She stated. I stared at her in confusion, before backing away from the bed. I shook my head.

"I can't do that ma'am." I stated. The offer was tempting but I won't give in. She's most likely intoxicated and won't remember a thing tomorrow and when she wakes up next to me, I won't be able to take the harsh words of rejection she is bound to through my way, once she realized who she lays next too. My hands twitch and I quickly wrung them together, before adverting my eyes from her legs. They were probably so smoothe. I wanted to run my hands over them. Lay my face on them. I wanted to sniff her womanly scent and devour her as well. I needed to restrain myself. She isn't in her right mind. She's intoxicated. One drop of werewolf alcohol can cause a human to go into cardiac arrest and I know she's had a lot from the way it clings to her.