Threats of Romance

Take Second Best

"Damn.. So... What are you going to do?" Bella asks a bit sad. "You've been hiding in here for days."

You sigh and softly throw yourself back onto the bed next to her. You stare at the crack on the ceiling of her hotel room picking at the nail polish that's stuck to your fingertips. "There's nothing TO do, but to continue being just his friend... When I'm ready." you reply simply.

"What do you mean?"

You turn your head at an angle to look at her. "we've become friends. It's not his fault I caught feelings and it's not his responsibility to cater to them. He's been a great friend so far. I have to respect his decisions. I also have to suck it up."

"So, what? Now you're gonna make yourself suffer in silence? By being his friend while you watch as he gets back with her? When you two clearly like eachother."

"He doesn't like me like that." your broken heart shies away. "And, I'll always be here for him. Period." you add.

"Oh come on! All that touching and hugging! You can't sit there and tell me that doesn't mean something?! Or that he's not aware of what he's doing to you." Bella says exasperated.

"I've come to realize it's purely platonic. I'm the one who gets too excited and hyped up when he touches me." you say defending him.

"That's a lie. He's just as guilty as you are at catching feelings Dee."

"No it's not-"

"He kissed you!" Bella throws her hands up in frustration. "No one kisses someone like that out of 'friendship' especially when he had just met you."

She's got you stumped on that one.

She continues,"out of all the guy friends you have or have had, tell me, how many did you kiss and hold hands with and cuddle in their bed with?"

You scoff. "None."

"Exactly."

"That doesn't mean to say he isn't super affectionate with his friends."

"Ok. Let's go based on that. Next time you hang out with him, pay attention. If he doesn't do that with his friends then you have your answer. I say next time because I know you can't stay away, even if it kills you."

"I have to learn to not get too excited and to set boundaries. Like cuddling in bed is too much for my heart and it's not right if he is indeed back with her."

Your phone rings again. You lay there unmoving and don't even consider answering because the ringtone gives away who it is.

"You're seriously not gonna answer? It's been 4 days." Bella raises her perfect eyebrow. "I'm surprised. We're leaving in a few days too, remember that. You may not have more time with him." she says with a bit of truth then adds," I have to admit that your broken heart and Manson boner has produced some very enticing paintings." Bella looks over to the 6 pieces against the wall of her hotel admiring them all. "Mort is gonna want these too."

"Yea.." you can't even look at them. As much as you love them they're hard to look at. Especially when a few of them are dreams of you and Marilyn Manson. Ok... So they're more like fantasies.

"Maybe I should stop by his place after dropping you off at the gallery with my paintings." you conclude.

"Yea you do that. I'm gonna take a shower." Bella stands up and walks into the bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You stay rooted to the driver seat of your little blue car and just stare up at the big ass mansion he calls a house. Suck it up you tell yourself.

You finally step out of your car and before you can even make it to the front door, it's open and Marilyn is walking towards you with open arms. You accept his crushing hug and relax in his embrace. Damn, this is gonna be harder than you thought, your subconscious confesses.

"Where were you? Are you ok?" he holds you out at arms length holding onto your shoulders firmly. "I was worried." he adds.

"I'm ok. I'm sorry. I got busy p-" you almost say painting but realize that would blow your alias so you think quickly. "-helping Bella run some errands for the art gallery." you feed him half truths because you could never lie to him. You peek behind his shoulder and see Johnny leaning against the door frame watching your interaction with Marilyn. He smiles as soon as he sees you notice him. You smile back widely.

"Hi." he says shyly but happy.

"Hi." you reply the same.

Marilyn lets go of your shoulders and turns so he is also facing Johnny. He makes a move to put his arm around you but before he gets a chance to, you're walking towards Johnny and give him a big warm hug. He hugs you back tightly.

"Good to see you again Dee." Johnny says softly. He ruffles your hair, turns, and walks back into the house. You and Marilyn follow him in and all drop down onto his couches. "Would it bother you if I smoked?" he asks politely holding up a black cigarette.

"No, not at all. May I have one?" you ask him then look over to Marilyn and ask him," would it be ok if I smoke inside too?"

Marilyn scoots closer to you and grabs a cigarette and puts it to your lips and lights it. "Of course it's ok." his hazel eyes staring at you without blinking. You inhale then turn your head to exhale not wanting to be rude and blow smoke in his face. Really though,  you use that as an excuse to break the eye contact with him. You lean forward and flick the ashes in the tray on the coffee table.

"So, how are things?" you finally look over at Marilyn.

He stares back trying to decipher you. "They're going well. I'm working on a new album." he smiles softly at you.

You smile excitedly. "No way! That's so cool!"

His hand reaches out to you and lands softly on your thigh with a small squeeze.

Your heart races inside your chest.  His touch feels sooo good, the seductress purrs inside you. Boundaries woman! Your subconscious yells back at you.

You snap out of your daze and gently grab his hand and squeeze it back, removing it from your thigh and placing it on the couch cushion between you. You don't let go for two reasons. 1. It feels nice. And 2. He would surely question if you changed the affection so drastically and suddenly.

Marilyn scoots closer to you and asks for a drag of your cigarette. Before you can answer he takes it from your lips puts it to his then takes a picture of himself with his phone and posts it on his Instagram with the caption "Your World Is An ashtray". After, he lifts it back to your mouth. You reach for it but he pulls it away and gestures for you to part them. You oblige and he places it at the center of your bottom lip. Your lips come together around the cigarette but he still doesnt let go. His eyes stuck to them.

Johnny clears his throat. Marilyn snaps out of whatever thoughts he was caught up in and you back away slightly. "So how long are you in town for?" Johnny asks conversationally.

"Until this coming Sunday." you answer softly turning towards him.

"What are your plans for friday and Saturday?" Marilyn asks.

"I have to be at the gallery to help Bella but other than that, nothing. Bella has a date apparently. A mystery guy." you wiggle your eyebrows. They laugh.

"You should come over and hang out. We can watch Mad Love." Marilyn says excitedly.

"Sure, I'm down." you smile.

Marilyn scoots even closer and as he reaches out and grabs your hand tightly, the front door unlocks and opens audibly.

"Brian, I'm here!" Lindsay rushes into the living room all smiles.

Marilyn drops your hand as if it was scorching hot.