𝟏𝟎:𝟒𝟔𝐏𝐌 ➤ 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴

vi. alec

word count: 620

Maybe this was okay. I mean, their mother was an adult, she'd been through so much more than they had (twenty-three years worth of experience to be exact) so surely what she said was fact. Their mother would never pass her own opinions as facts to her child, especially on something as important as this.

They knew better though. No matter how badly Alec wanted her to understand, they'd always just be Alexandra to her. No amount of "that name makes me incredibly uncomfortable" or "I've never felt comfortable in my own body" was going to make their mother understand that they identified as anything other than female. It wasn't even like their mother had to change her entire process of thinking. As long as she just called them "Alec", they'd be fine. Even if she just viewed it as a nickname, it'd be enough for the moment.

But the only time that ever happened was when others who knew about them being genderfluid were around. Maybe she didn't want others to view her as a bad mother. But if she so desperately wanted to be liked, why not by her own child? Her flesh and blood?

That's all they wanted, for her to just try. They'd understand if she didn't understand it fully, maybe it was harder for those who didn't identify as something other than their birth given gender. Alec had plenty of friends who understood the name change, and only their best friend was in the same boat as them. She truly did help her through so much.

So Alec guessed that's why they'd gone to her when they and their mom had gotten into their last big fight. Sure, it wasn't much different from the countless fights they'd had over the last few months, but it'd been the last straw. The buildup of emotions had just been too much. From not accepting their gender or sexuality, to completely shutting them out from the outside world, it really had been one of the worst patches of their life. Not even their anti-depressants helped. They were stuck in this never ending downward spiral and if they'd stayed any longer, Alec might just have finished what they started back in middle school. They truly wouldn't have made it to art college.

So when they spontaneously started living with their best friend, they thought it was the right path. They still did think so.

But the homesickness did get to them sometimes. Sure, one of their brothers shared the same views as their mother, but the youngest of the two didn't. He truly had been the rose in the thorn bush, and god did they miss him. Him and their dumb inside jokes and crackhead adventures.

It'd get better though. They could feel it in their bones. Whenever they lay awake late into the night, another sleepless night. The days the anti-depressants seemed to work. The days of countless adventures in different countries. As their last few days of senior year approached, they knew.

They'd make a name for themselves, and prove their mom wrong. Prove their entire family wrong, for that matter.

Author's Note

i just want you guys to know that no matter what you identify as, it doesn't matter! you can only be you, no one else. so live as who you are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. don't let others force their own opinions down your throat.

this was maybe definitely most likely a vent drable. i like pushing my own feelings onto names i've pulled. i have a character named alec, and since this isn't him, i'm not gonna put a last name dndnhe. i love him though.