Review by Syd: Hearts

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Title: Hearts

Author: fantasy_panda2003

Reviewer: SydPanda5


Summary: 3.5/5

I think you could add a little more "spice" to your summary. It was really short, and though it gave us an idea about the book, it doesn't leave the reader asking questions. Just add a bit more to your description, and maybe add a hooking excerpt that leaves the reader wanting more, but doesn't spoil anything. I'd also like to mention that your cover wasn't that attractive. Maybe try re-designing it, because the picture seems a little squished.


Grammar: 4.5/5

I noticed a few punctuation mistakes, and examples where the sentences could flow better, but nothing too bad. There were a few cases of switching of tenses too. Also in chapter nine you used 'sure enough' a little too much. Try and use a different way to say this, like 'of course' or 'indeed.' But that was it, and it didn't lesson the flow of your story too much.


Character Building: 5/5

I like how we really learn about Lily, and her struggles. The character building of her was phenomenal, and kept me wanting to read more! Her thoughts are captivating, and I really love the character Jackson!


Writing Style: 5/5

Your flow is great! I can tell that you have the potential to become a great author!


Plot: 3/5

Ok, so I know how it is when you really want the romance to start already, but you aren't quite there. I'm having trouble with that as I write my book of Atlantis. I just felt like you rushed the romance a little. I mean, they've only know each other for two days and Lily's already asking herself about if she actually loves him. To be honest, love at first sight is to cliché, let them become friends first, and develop that friendship over the next few chapters, set the scene. Then launch into the romance. 


OVERALL SCORE: 21/25

The romance was too rushed! She fell in love with him on the, what, third day she met him? I mean, I guess that's ok, but take a few chapters to talk about that. Don't rush into it! I would suggest just going back and adding a few chapters if them warming up to each other and, like I said above, expanding their friendship!


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