The Tales of a Future Hockey Wife

Chapter 56: Making Plans

~Ben~

While on the bus that led me to Saul Ste Marie, all I could think about was how I could make more money to afford everything that our baby will need. I came to the conclusion that the best solution would be to be drafted in the NHL, obviously. Even better, I would get drafted in BC's team so we could get closer to our family because no matter how Eleanor feels about her parents, we will need all the help we can get. Even if I still have to wait to find out for sure, the NHL Entry Draft is only in the end of June, I would like to have a clearer view of my chances to make it, so I asked my coach for a meeting. Instead of going out with the team after the game, I left the arena with Coach Freeman, so we could talk. I know he'll be as frank as possible, I never had to doubt his words. We sit in the hotel's small lobby, drinking a beer for him and a soda for me.

"How's it going, Benji? I know you're going through a lot of stuff with your girlfriend. I'm sorry I couldn't be more present for you."

"We're good, thank you," I say without looking at him. "It's hard, I never know if I am saying or doing the right thing. I'm always scared, always. The closer we get, the more petrified I am. Everything's changing, you know? El is almost done with school, I'm almost done here, we're having a baby while neither of us knows what we'll be doing or where we'll be next year," I rectify after seeing the way my coach's eyebrows raised.

"You know you could still play for us next year. Your birthday is in September, right?" I nod, interested. "The limit is you have to be no older than 20 on December 31st. You make the cut. I know it's probably not what you want, but you could stay with us." I knew that. I have been checking the age limits for the NHL since I was twelve, I very well know that I still have another year to get drafted, but I want it now. I have wanted it for about ten years now, I am ready for my dream to come true. Plus, we need the money a pro contract brings.

"But you can't give me the money the NHL would." He shakes his head, a sad expression on his face.

"This is supposed to teach you humbleness before you make over 500 000$ a year, but, in your case, it's about more than that. It's about giving your child everything he or she needs, right?"

"She, she's a she," I correct. "And yes."

"And what does Eleanor want?" I raise my shoulders, shaking my head.

"I'm not sure, honestly. Her parents offered to move here, they even said we could move back with them, but she declined even if it would have made our lives easier. We bought a crib this morning." I have no idea why I said that last sentence.

"I think you're both waiting for the other to decide. She's waiting to hear back from hockey, you're waiting for her to tell you what she wants, at this rate, this baby will be here before any of you makes the decision." He's right, he's absolutely right, but how can we make a decision in those conditions? There is so much that could change. If I get drafted in Florida, for example, we'll have to move there and restart everything even if we made the decision to move back to BC. I hate to say it, but this baby has the worst timing ever.

"I think you should discuss it with her, Ben," he adds after seeing my pensive look. "I know it's hard, you're young and away from both your families, but you're about to have a family of your own, and I would hate for you to start it on the wrong foot."

"What do you think about my chances to go pro next year? I know it's not an exact science and that with my injury I dropped in the rankings and I can't be compared to the others on the same criteria, but if you could give me an answer it would really help me."

"You're a great player, on the ice and outside. You really made one of the greatest comebacks I've seen after an injury like yours, and it shows your determination, but players with your stats, there are hundreds. You have a chance; recruiters came to ask about you. Maybe not the ones you would expect, but I guarantee you that some people are interested in you, Ben." Not the ones I would expect? What is that supposed to mean? I honestly don't expect anything, I'll take anything. I'll go anywhere anyone wants me.

"Thank you, Coach, for everything." Mr. Freeman is the coach who brought me the most on the ice and outside. He showed me how to act like a captain, how to inspire people, not with words, but with actions.

"Make me proud, Johnson."

Later that night, as I lay in my cheap hotel bed, I wonder what is going on inside El's brain right now. Is she asleep or is she laying in our bed in the same position as I am? Is she thinking about me or does she have more important things to think about like the constant reminder of our upcoming baby? Does she know what she wants for next year or is she really waiting for me? We really should talk about this in a more truthful conversation. If only I was alone in my room, I would call her, and we would talk until one of us falls asleep on the phone like we used too when we first started seeing each other. We used to talk on the phone every day I was away, I know I saw her this morning, but I still wish I could talk to her before going to sleep. I miss her. I miss the way we were when we still lived in BC. Everything was so simple back then. I want simple again. I am done with complicated and stressful even if I know that we are only at the beginning. I just wish I knew that she felt the same way. 

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