Pragma // s.b.

11

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I dragged my heavy fork around the perimeter of the large plate sitting in front of me at the Hufflepuff table, producing a light scraping noise. Olivia's hand shot out, grabbing my wrist and stopping the movement. "For the love of everything holy, please stop that God awful sound", she let out, releasing my hand.

I looked up, my eyes meeting hers. "Sorry", I said, dropping my fork onto the plate of uneaten shepherd's pie. We had just gotten out of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and to say it had been an absolute disaster would be a total understatement. Olivia reached over, pouring a large amount of pumpkin juice into my previously empty goblet.

"Everyone has off days, Bri", she said lightly. My shoulders slumped and I raised my eyebrows. "I got called out by Professor Bocchine in front of the whole class", I said in a monotone voice. After 45 minutes of attempting to cast "protego", the shield charm, Professor Bocchine had stomped over, her bun so tight it pulled her eyebrows back towards her greying hairline and said, loud enough for everyone else to hear, "Miss Carter, do you have any possible explanation on how you have managed to make it this far in your magical career without possessing the basic skills needed to perform a simple spell?".

It was the most humiliating moment of my life. Skye and Amber whispered that it was okay and not that big of a deal to try to distract me from the snickers coming from around the room. I instantly regretted looking behind me to the far corner of the room where I knew the four Marauders sat. Sirius was laughing hysterically and, noticing my eyes on them, Remus hit him hard with the book in his hand in an attempt to shut him up. I knew it was a kind gesture, but it somehow made me feel worse.

I half-heartedly poked at the peas on my plate, still too upset to eat. "I know it seems like I'm being dramatic", I sighed. Olivia smiled and reached over, taking my hand. Her nails were glossy and always perfectly manicured, a stark contrast to my short, bare ones. "Its okay to be upset", she said, "But give yourself five more minutes, then move on. Okay?". The lunch crowd was thinning out as people began to head to their afternoon classes. "Okay", I nodded.
    She squeezed my hand.

I had no idea how Liv always knew what to say to cheer me up. "I'm gonna run back to the dormitory before Care of Magical Creatures", I said, taking a swig of my pumpkin juice and standing. "Alright, see you in a little bit", Olivia leaned over, scooping my uneaten meal onto her plate and digging in. I walked down the aisle between the tables, pushing open the doors that led out of the Great Hall.

"Oi! Carter!", a loud voice rang out. I turned around, having no idea who would possibly be calling my name because everyone I spoke to was still eating at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall. "I was going to jinx you but I realized you couldn't cast a shield charm to protect yourself, so it wouldn't be fair", Sirius smirked, walking down a flight of stairs towards me from the direction of Gryffindor tower.

I bit my lip, attempting to hold back the anger, resentment, and embarrassment I had been feeling all day. "Why do you feel the need to be so mean to everyone all the time?", I burst out, much louder than I meant. Two scared looking Ravenclaw first years scurried past. "Excuse me?", Sirius said, reaching where I was standing at the bottom of the flight of stairs. "Are you that insecure in yourself that you have to make others feel bad about themselves so you can feel better?", I continued, my voice rising with every word.

"I...", Sirius began, his eyes shifting uncomfortably over me. I slammed my hand on the banister. "No, listen to me, Black!", I ran my hands through my hair, my fingers sticking in the tangles, "I know we didn't get off on the best note. I know I'm hostile to you and your stupid friends, but it's only because I wish so badly you saw how you affected everyone else around you. Sure, the other Gryffindors think it's all fun and games, but the rest of the castle is much less enchanted with you", I spit.

"Like, did you know that one time one of the pranks you left in the bathroom went off on Lewis Otterton? He already gets enough shit from the Slytherins, he doesn't need it from anyone else". Sirius didn't move. He didn't speak, or even blink. He looked at me, and I could tell that his brain was moving a mile a minute. "Getting called out in class was humiliating. Do you realize how hard I work to be respected by the Professors, and not to mention the other students? I'm a 5'1 Hufflepuff girl for crying out loud!", I took a deep breath, "Just do me a favor, and get off my back".

I realized I had been basically screaming at the top of my lungs, and hot angry tears were threatening to burst from my eyes. People were staring, but in all honesty, I didn't care. Sirius stood frozen like a statute, one foot hovering on the bottom stair. Obviously his brain was not big enough to comprehend what I was saying, or he just didn't care. I wasn't sure which was worse. I took a shaky breath and turned on my heel, praying that the tears didn't spill over.

When I reached the dormitory, I threw myself onto my bed and let the sobs burst out. Warm tears soaked into my pillow as I relived the horrible day. Not even the nuzzles from Poppy or the soft feel of my quilt could ease the ache in my heart.