Pragma // s.b.

13

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I sped walked down the corridor towards the basement where the Potions classroom was located. I was running extremely late due to the fact that I had slept in. I know, it was practically unheard from me. But, we had stayed up until the early hours of the morning in the common room, playing games and exchanging stories, and I went to bed at the usual time I was waking up. My hair was piled on top of my head in a very messy bun. My face was void of any makeup and my shirt was half untucked from my skirt.

The clock on the wall let me know I had two minutes to get to class before Professor Terence started lecturing over the properties of moonstone and their uses in the Wolves-bane Potion. I careened down the stairs and towards the classroom, where I knew everyone was already situated, pulling out their book and adjusting their cauldrons. I stretched out my hand, but before my fingers could wrap around the brass doorknob, a firm hand grabbed my arm, "Briony, wait".

I turned, startled. My heart sunk when I saw who it was. "Class is starting, Black", I moved toward the door. Sirius threw out his hands, blocking the way. What was he playing at? "Just give me five minutes please", his gruff voice was low and raspy, almost desperate. I turned to face him, scanning his sharp features. His eyes were pleading, and I got the sense he hadn't been sleeping. "Class", I let out half heartedly, gesturing towards the door. "It's already started by now", he stuffed his hands into his pockets and shifted from one foot to the other. Remus' words ran through my head, "I think you'll be surprised at what he has to say". I would be lying to say that I wasn't intrigued by this.

Ro's warning pushed it's way into my already crowded brain. The fact that I was friends with Remus was already directly ignoring his advise, giving Sirius a chance to explain himself would be a whole new level of disrespect towards my brother. I chewed on my lip. "Fine", I said, regretting the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. I glanced around the corridor, a Professor walked by, shooting us a confused look, "But let's go somewhere else".

Sirius' lips lifted into a grin and he moved swiftly past me, leaving me to follow in his wake. We walked in silence, me slightly behind him, until we reached the door leading out of the castle to the outside study area. A few students mulled around, the crisp morning air blowing their robes around their ankles. Sirius pulled open the door and we both stood there. I cleared my throat. "Um, what are you doing?", I coughed and shifted my weight so my right hip jutted out. "Trying to be a gentleman", he pulled the door open further and I raised my eyebrows.

I slowly moved out the door, glancing down at my wrinkled shirt, suddenly very aware of my messy appearance. I tucked it in so it no longer fell loose around my skirt. Gingerly sitting down on the bench nearest us, I waited for Black to join me, but he remained standing. His posture was tense and I could see his fists were bawled up in his pockets. Sirius clenched his jaw and I waited, the seconds ticking along at an antagonizing slow rate. I looked everywhere but at him. Why did I agree to this? I should have just gone to class and ignored his stupid pleading puppy dog eyes.

    Sirius moved quickly so he was seated next to me. "I have no idea how to talk to you Briony Carter", he said so fast I barely had time to register his words before he continued, "You are the most opinionated, intimidating, and unexpected person I've ever met and I have no idea what how to handle you". The scent of smoke floating off of him seemed to seep into the air around us. "Is this supposed to be helping you?", I let out, unsure if I wanted to shout at him or just laugh.

He leaned forward and buried his head in his hands. "I am such an idiot", he mumbled. "You were right about me", his words were muffled through his hands. I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't know what to say, or what to feel. This was the most raw I had ever seen Black, and I was at a complete loss for what to do. "I shouldn't have made fun of you for not knowing how to do the spell", he sat back up and looked me right in the eyes, "If I had any idea how to do Potions as well as you do then maybe my parents would actually think I was worthy of the Black name". He said the last part with a harsh bark like laugh and my eyes widened.

His parents? I could tell he hadn't meant to say the last bit, as he had tensed up next to me. I opened my mouth to try and form some response but he continued. "You scare the shit out of me Briony Carter, because you are so right about me. I want to change, I really do. I want to not be such an asshole. I want to see the world the way you do, to see the best and worst in people and understand them without even knowing them. But most of all, I just really don't want you to hate me anymore". His eyes were red and I felt a pang in my chest. "I don't hate you", I weakly let out. The feeling of guilt rose up in the pit of my stomach. Had I been too harsh on him this whole time? Clearly, there was something going on deep under the surface of Sirius Black.

He laughed and shook his head. We looked at each other. "I'm so sorry for the way I've acted", he whispered. I looked into his eyes, the gold strips running through them made brighter in the sunlight. "I am too", I let out, "I know I can be judgmental and harsh. I just have this thing inside me where I need justice. I need to right the wrongs of the world, even if it's none of my business. I wish I had more mercy sometimes. Hufflepuffs are supposed to be kind and meek, sometimes I think I should be more like that, so I understand how it feels to want to be something you aren't."

Sirius looked at me and there was no false pretenses or hint of a cocky smirk. We didn't speak for a moment. "But I don't necessarily we need to regret who we are just because we aren't what everyone expects us to be", I fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand. He licked his lips and his shoulders slowly relaxed, his usual air slowly returning. He let out a laugh and his eyes crinkled near the edges.

"Hi, my name is Sirius", he suddenly stuck out his strong hand, "It's nice to meet you". I raised my eyebrow, but couldn't fight the smile forming on my lips. "I'm Briony", I slowly reached up and took his hand in mine, gripping it in a handshake. His hand was warm and in mine. He dropped my hand and I let out a laugh. We looked at each other for a moment, an owl flying by overhead. Flowers bloomed out of the ground at our feet and the sounds of conversation drifted over from the groups of students around the pavilion. "Friends?", Sirius smiled slowly, leaning back and allowing the corners of his mouth to turn up. I looked at his face, the face that I had hated and judged and misunderstood for so long, "I think I can handle that".