Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi Soobin

s e v e n

It's been a couple of weeks since Soobin and Gyuri's incident. Since that day, we've become closer and we've spent a lot of time together, right now he's sitting in front of me across the table, helping me study for our final exams that are coming. He keeps reading the book in front of him, muttering things to himself as he tries to understand the math exercise, I rest my face on my hand as I keep looking at him, admiring every single one of his features and the way he knits his brows together while he reads with those cute glasses of his.

I would be lying if I said I'm not surprised at how close we've become these days. Soobin has clearly changed since that day, he doesn't smile as often as he usually did, he's a little bit colder towards people and he even seems to be in a bad mood most of the time. However, when it comes to me, he's a lot warmer, kind and even sweet. It's not like he's lovey dovey with me or anything, but he laughs a little more when we're alone, and he even rests his head on my lap sometimes. I don't really know how to feel about the whole situation, cause he seems to be so relaxed, but any time he's close or any time he touches me, it's like my heart is going to explode. I find it hard for breathing, and my hands sweat, shake and tremble.

"Hmm... I think that's it." He says, closing the book and looking at me, a slight smile on his lips. "We're done for today."

I let out a heavy sigh, stretching my body.

"Finally, I hate maths." I respond, rubbing my hands over my arms.

"I noticed." He chuckles "You did well though." He adds, taking off his glasses to place them over the wooden table, standing up and stretching himself.

The sounds Eggbert makes fill the whole room, and it even made it hard for us to concentrate. Soobin walks towards his box and grabs him, holding it against his body and petting him gently.

He smiles instantly. Whenever he holds Eggbert or sees any kind of animal, his mood completely changes. He smiles a lot, and I can even assure he's really happy around them. Eggbert is a really cute duckling, since he was born he's been following both of us wherever we go, and that's honestly one of the sweetest things I've ever experienced. Soobin takes a seat on the couch, placing the little duck on his lap and smiling. He looks at it in such adorable way, with his eyes getting smaller and his dimples popping up. I look at him and I can't help but smile too, but when I feel my heart pounding really fast I decide to stand up and get something to drink.

"Do you want something to drink?" I ask him, walking towards the kitchen.

"No, thank you, I'm fine." He responds, and I nod.

I enter the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with cold water. I take a sip, still hearing Soobin baby talking to the duckling. I chuckle and shake my head to myself.

How can someone be so adorable?

When I empty the glass, I place it on the sink and go back to the hall, sitting beside him. My heart stops when he decides to lay his head on my lap without saying anything. He keeps playing with Eggbert that's now resting on his stomach.

"I can't believe we have just a week left to be with him." He says, his thick voice making me more nervous. He caresses the soft animal as he chirps, and I know for a fact that he's going to miss it.

I try to speak, but my nervousness make it sound like small noises. I clear my throat, trying my best to keep my cool.

"I know. Time flies, and I'm going to miss him." I respond, he keeps silent for a couple of seconds, then sighs.

"Me too. I got used to him following me whenever I come here. I guess that's just how it is... Nothing lasts forever."

His words make my heart sting for a minute. I know why he said such a thing, and he isn't just talking about Eggbert. If there's something I realized, that would be that he's feeling really lonely lately, and that's why he's been with me this much.