Wish

Chapter 17 // Us

Sunday morning, Liam and the crew were already gone. Lena is clear to do normal things again, but is still housebound. Which she absolutely hates and ranted for about an hour yesterday. Kara just broke out laughing along the way which made Lena mad. But Kara didn't mind. Her wife needed to let her frustration out and when it all ended she got a couple of very nice kisses.

But right now she is laying in bed watching television with the order from Lena to not move, not even to go to the toilet, which is a lie Lena isn't like that. Needs are needs. So that says enough Lena is doing something. And it isn't a lie that Kara is absolutely intrigued. And she might be a little turned on...

When Lena walks in, not completely stable, with a tray of food. Kara tries to stand up to help her but Lena just gives her a stern look that says 'No. Don't you dare.' So Kara puts her hands up in surrender and sits up. Lena places the tray beside her on the bed and makes her way to her own side. She sits down and together they start eating. But Kara doesn't think this is enough. No. No. When they both finished Kara places the tray on the ground. She looks at Lena who just looks at her with that damn raised eyebrow.

So Kara quickly moves so she is straddling Lena who gasps and before she can say anything Kara captures Lena's lips with her own. Slowly but surely things get a little intense. It doesn't stay like that for too long since Lena is still injured. But it was fun, having the other person as your main priority. As your only important thing. The only thing you can think about. But one thing is for sure, how Lena walks is now way worse. Maybe she can't even walk. But that doesn't matter, they enjoyed it. 

Now Kara just lays awake with a naked Lena next to her, she slowly combs through those black locks. Sometimes Lena sighs in content or shuffles a little closer. But Kara's mind is somewhere else. Thinking about everything, thinking about being human. Being vulnerable for the first time. It's scary, but so much better. But she gave up a part of her, being Supergirl. The thing that makes her, well her. But now she isn't that anymore. She is Lena's version of her, somebody who can be determined. But has a heart of gold. Wait. She wished... she- Rao she wished this. That evening with James. When that woman said 'Wish granted' she wished for Lena to get everything she wanted with the person she wanted.

She wished a selfless wish, for somebody else... and she got jackpot out of it. Only because she got mad. Because the wanted Lena to have a better life, one that deserves that beautiful mind and body of hers. One that doesn't have all it flaws, it does has flaws but not those that hurt her the most. Not Lillian or Lex bad. No, they love her. And she loves them back. 

Kara gave Lena everything... just because some stupid words. Those I wish. She did it. She broke the world because she gave somebody everything. And the problem with it is that she actually enjoys it. She enjoys this world. Heck! She loves it. She loves Lena, not that she doesn't love any other Lena because that would be a lie, she loves Liam, she loves Alex. Heck she even likes Lex! 

She might hate Mon-El but that is because Lena probably never liked him and that's why he is well... different here. And does that mean... she knows the real James? Does that mean she knows that he talks truly bad stuff about her? Did she tell it? Or- She doesn't know it. But that doesn't matter. This twisted James... isn't him? So- He doesn't deserve it. No- no, James can be so much better than this. 

Kara sighs, what if this isn't endless. What if this will stop at one point? What if they all remember? That they remember this life, because that would mean... but that- She just can't think clearly anymore. No she absolutely can't. This just too- blurry. But she knows one thing for sure, she did this. With the help from that person at the dinner. But she isn't going to hunt for that person. No she won't. Because she loves this life. She loves being human, being imperfect but still loved. Being expected normal things. 

Her hand stopped moving some time ago. So Lena slowly opens her eyes and sees Kara staring in front of her. To the wall where the television is. But it isn't on. Lena blinks a couple of times and asks "Darling what is wrong."

Kara almost jumps and quickly turns her head to Lena, she is shocked but she does form her answer "I fucked up."

When she doesn't talk further Lena speaks up again "What did you fuck up?"

Kara looks back at the wall, a stray tear makes its way down on the side that Lena can see. Kara lets out a very broken "Everything." And with that she breaks. She just can't hold it in anymore. Slowly more and more tears make their way down. Lena quickly sits up and hugs Kara. She rubs Kara's back and whispers that she didn't do anything wrong.

But she did. She did everything. She fucked everything up. The world isn't normal anymore. Because she changed everything. Everything because of two words I and wish. While Lena tries to make Kara calm down she doesn't get an answer. But she doesn't ask for it, when Kara is finally calmed down she asks for what she fucked up. But Kara just shakes her head, this is something Lena can never know. Not now, not tomorrow. It's impossible. And that makes everything bad. Heck it makes everything awful. And Kara doesn't want Lena to feel that, to know everything is fake. Or she doesn't want Lena to think her wife is crazy. Lena can't feel loss. She isn't worth losing. Because she is the most important thing in Kara's life. And that means that she is worth more than herself. She loves Lena more than she loves herself.