It was now lunch and I haven't seen any of those guys since first lesson. For some reason I couldn't get Ashton out of my mind. All I could think of is his hazel eyes. Its like I'm stuck in a trance.
I was sitting on the bleachers alone, opposite from the other set of bleachers where the popular people sit. I could see them staring and they were most likely making fun of me.
Luke comes up to me causing me to move my gaze from the people who despise me to him.
I dont know the reason behind Luke still being my friend. He could be popular, but he chose to be my friend instead, which I cant understand why. Im bellow average. Im nothing special. Im just a worthless piece of trash that people use. The list can go on.
Luke is a good looking guy and can get any girl he wants, but doesnt date any one because all the girls hate me. He told me that he cant date someone that doesnt like me. Poor guy is never gonna get a girlfriend and its all going to be my fault.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I cant spend lunch with you. I have to go to my lunch study session to keep my grades up. Are you going to be okay by yourself?" He asks me.
I nod and sign 'go ill be fine. You need to think about your grades'. He smiles and walks away.
Luke has the best smile. He can always brighten up a room with just the simplest smile. I wish I could do that. Luke always tries to make everyone happy and puts himself last. He has a heart of gold.
"Hey, can we sit?" I look up to see Ashton and his friends. I nod, not knowing what to do. "Who was that guy that you were talking to?" I go through my bag and find a book and pen.
I write down 'that's my bestfriend Luke' and show it to them. They all look at me confused. Its probably because they dont know I'm mute and wondering why I'm writing what I want to say down on a notebook.
"He doesnt seem like a good friend to leave you alone," Leo says.
'He has to go to a study session to keep his grades up, if he wants to stay on the football team,' I write down. They all nod still looking at me weirdly.
I sigh and write down in caps, 'IM MUTE.' I then move my gaze down not wanting to look them in the eye. I quickly write down, 'please dont bully or hurt me. Im not in the mood'. I slowly look up and see they are looking at me with sympathy and pity. I hate it. I hate that look. It makes me feel weak and like a damsel in distress.
'Dont look at me like that. Like I'm some hopeless girl that needs help because I'm not. I dont need your sympathy and pity. I dont need you to feel sorry for me so you can go shove it up your ass' and with that I walk away from them.
Ugh, I already hate them. They're probably like the rest.
Do you know how many people would come up to me and ask if I'm okay, like I'm fragile and can break any moment? Or pretend to be nice and when I actually start to trust them and see them as a friend they begin to bully me like the rest? Do you?
Its like I'm some show to them. Like my life is their personal entertainment. Like it means nothing to them and all they want to do is to destroy me bit by bit and see me crumble.
People may think its funny and I may hide my feelings, but no one knows how I truly feel. I feel like I'm drowning and I'm too deep down to be saved. I feel like I'm suffocating and no one cares. Its like everyone around me is here to make me suffer.
Its now last lesson and its English. Leo comes into class and sits next to me. Great. Not. At least its only him and the other two are not in this class.
Chloe begins to throw things at me and everyone in the class calls me names like; whore, slut, slag, freak, bitch etc. All I do is keep my head low.
The teacher enters the class and sees them bully me, but does nothing. I see Leo get up and grab the bin. He brings it over to our desk and pushes the rubbish off of my place.
"Hey, I'm sorry about what happened at lunch can you forgive me and the guys?" He asked. I slowly lift my head and nod. Why is he being nice to me? Is it an act?
I then bring my head back down. "Listen up yeah, leave her alone okay! She's done nothing wrong and all you guys are doing is making her suffer. It's so fucking disgusting to see you all treat her this way! And you, your the teacher and you cant even do your job and protect your own student. Are you fucking sick in the head or something? If you want to mess with her then your messing with me," Leo shouts at the entire class. I send Leo a sad smile showing I'm thankful. He smiles back.
Its now after school and I rush home so I can make my father his lunch. I hope I dont get there late. I dont think my body can handle another punishment. My ribs are still sore and sensitive.
One day that man that I call my father is going to kill me and I'm going to end up dead just like my mother.
Did he even love her in the first place?
Did he even feel any guilt after killing her?
Has he ever truly loved me or cared about me?
All I can think of is the abuse my mother went through and now me. Is he going to kill me like he did to her?
To be honest the sound of death sounds nice. It sounds peaceful and it can end all of my suffering. I could also finally join my mother, the only person who truly cared about me.
I get snapped out of my thoughts when I realize I'm outside my house door. I enter the house and see an angry man...
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I fall onto the floor. Why do I have to be clumsy? I hear my father wake up. He sits up and sees me. His eyes are drilling into mine. I now know I'm just good as dead... My father stalks towards me and I'm too scared to move. He grabs my hair pullin...