Say It

twenty three

6am | san francisco, ca

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I was training harder than I have in over a year. Even my trainer was worried given that I suffered a really bad injury. He wasn't sure if I was ready. I didn't either.

I was just trying to forget about last night.

Perspiration fell aggressively down my face and neck as stood with my hands on my hips, trying to catch my breath.

My trainer looked at me with a great deal of concern, but I told him to leave it alone with my eyes.

Nonetheless, I felt healthier than ever before. Even pre-injury. I was stronger, faster and quicker. I skipped indoor track season for this very reason.

I grabbed my towel, wiping the sweat off my face and sitting on the empty bench. Ever since Jace put that pill bottle in front of me, I had a difficult time getting the awful memories out of my head.

I used to take at least seven a day. Just to sleep. I wasn't running. I wasn't painting. I barely went to class. I went completely dark.

Mariyah didn't know until she'd caught me in the middle of the day taking one. I tried to lie and say it was prescription, but she knew.

She stayed on me about going to rehab. I blew her off. In my eyes, I was fine. Until I just could no longer see the world with me present in it. I wanted to die.

So, I took majority of the pills at once and collapsed in the bathroom.

Jace knocked on the door with food and drinks in his hand. Nia hadn't answered his calls all weekend and he knew this was a difficult time for her.

This was the anniversary of Truth's death. He didn't know him personally, but he knew of him because of his friend Cris. Jace was just upset that another smart brother had lost his life over some bullshit.

He knocked on the door again, seeing that the lights and stuff were on so someone was home. Jace was starting to get concerned.

Jace twisted the knob, finding it open which was odd. Nia always locked the door. Slowly, he walked in and yelled her name. But, no answer.

Sitting the food down on the table, he went to search for her.

He checked every place possible in the kitchen, living room, guest bathroom, Mariyah's bedroom before going into hers. You don't realize how big her condo is until you're looking for someone.

When he walked in her room, everything looked to be in place. Her bed was made up and her room was clean, per usual. Sometimes Jace thought it was too clean, like she was hiding something.

He went to the bathroom door to open it, but it was locked. "Nia?" He called out once more.

Still no answer.

Jace continued to twist it but to no avail. He had a really bad feeling and that bad feeling would not let him leave that door.

"Nia!" He turned to hear another guy's voice in the apartment.

Adrian walked in her room, and paused when the two locked eyes. "Who you?" Jace asked.

"I'm Adrian. I'm Nia's best friend. You found Nia? Mariyah sent me here to check on her."

Jace could hear the concern in his voice so he decided to keep his possessiveness locked inside. Jace was about to respond when he stepped on something. He looked down to see at least three pills on the ground.