For His Pleasure

27

After taking a few minutes to compose myself after the quick moment with Ben, I ate a banana and had a coffee for breakfast. 

Once I deemed myself well enough to face him again, despite my confused mind, I left the kitchen and navigated toward the living area.

Sure enough, I found Ben sat on his previous spot on the couch, completely focused as he typed away on his laptop.

Awkwardly I debated if I should walk up to him or go change back into my evening gown, ready to head home.

The part of me that didn't want to leave overpowered the nervous part of me and, before I even knew it, I was making my way towards him.

Despite knowing I was there, Ben made no effort to even glance up at me as he continued typing out what I assumed to be was an email.

"Hi," I cleared my throat after I'd sat down next to him, leaving a small distance between us. My heart rate increased, still feeling so conflicted of what I wanted and needed from him.

"I'll call your driver to come pick you up in a minute, just need to finish this email..." he seemed very deep in thought, eyes not leaving the screen.

I furrowed my brows, not pleased with him, "why?"

"Why what?" He cast me a small glance, continuously seeming so utterly and frustratingly cool, calm and collected, "it's an important email, I need to get it sent now. Won't take long."

"No, that's not what I meant," I shook my head, "I meant, why are you going to call my driver? An hour ago you wanted me to spend the day with you."

Ben chuckled to himself, "that was an hour ago, wasn't it?"

There was no hint of any rudeness or patronisation in his voice, and maybe that was the most frustrating to me. His walls had returned, yet this time it felt so different.

"Listen, Sofia, I really need to finish this—"

I cut him off by grabbing his laptop and placing it swiftly onto the coffee table in front of us. Extremely confused, Ben finally met my gaze.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, becoming very fed up.

"If I had said yes, would you be calling my driver to come get me?" I raised my brows at him, jaw clenching as I challenged him to give me an honest answer.

"No," Ben surprised me by actually replying truthfully, "there's not much to do around here now, so there's no point in—"

"Why can't we talk? Get to know each other more and just be friends?" I frowned, shaking my head gently.

Ben sighed and leaned back against the couch, his façade of casualness momentarily slipping away, "I don't want to talk. I don't want to be just friends with you."

"So me saying 'no' makes you completely distance yourself from me? You can't just expect me to choose between a yes and a no like that!" I tried so hard to keep my voice calm, but failed miserably while he studied me carefully.

"You're infuriating, Ben," my tone quieted down, "I hope you know that."

An amused grin tugged at the sides of his lips, which caused me to frown. I couldn't understand him or his motives.

"I can live with it," he replied slowly, gaze darkening as he continued to watch me.

"You're manipulating me," I continued, sounding as defeated as I felt. He blinked, but gave no reply.

"I don't know if you're one of those people who believe in free will, but if you are—" he began after a moment.

"Shut up."

"Alright," his reply was almost instant, almost as if he was expecting for me to snap the way I had.

At this point I couldn't tell if I wanted to strangle him or kiss him. My mind and heart were both going absolutely insane.

Just as he was about to reach for his laptop, I decided to push back all hesitations and worries, and instead pushed him back almost roughly.

Now leaning back against the couch again, and with confusion he looked back over at me.

Without saying anything, I swiftly moved to straddle his lap, my hands placing themselves on his strong shoulders.

"It's a yes, but just for today," I gritted out, causing his grin to return.

"Wasn't so hard, was it, sweetheart?" Ben was more than pleased with himself, his hands finding their way up my thighs to settle on my hips.

I kissed him, hoping more good than bad would come out of this.