Lydia

Honeysuckle and Bacon

Part One

Hendersonville, North Carolina

 1930

     I wish Mrs. Peggy would drop dead. Then, if she gets to heaven, I wish God will show her how cruel she has been to me. Lastly, I hope when I pray on my knees tonight, he'll forgive me for ever thinking these awful things. But for the time being, I'm still going to think about them.

     It wasn't my fault, let me make that clear. I was simply taking in the beautiful morning. The kind of beautiful morning that only the south can produce. I stretched out in my bed before resting my elbows on top of my pillow. We left the window open last night in our room. I have to share it with my younger brother, Luca. It's alright though, because he's almost tolerable. In my book, that's enough.

     There I was, watching gnats bounce happily through the ripped screen of the window. I could feel a warm breeze wash over me from where I was lying. The scent of honeysuckle and sizzling bacon mixed in with the air. It made me want to go out into the fields where I could pick some of the succulent flowers, and bring them back for Mamma.

     "Yer doin' that thang again, Lyd," I almost jumped at the sound of Luca's voice. It's kind of croaky and high now that he's thirteen. But I wouldn't ever tell him that, it would hurt his feelings too much.

     I turned to my side, resting my head in my hand. "What thang?"

     Luca looks like one of them puppet dolls, now that his limbs are too lanky for the rest of him. Other than that, his face looks like our daddy. Big eyes, freckles, and a sharp nose that for some reason I didn't inherit. There might still be hope if he grows into those arms and legs.

     His swampy feet hit the floor and he began shuffling around the room. "That thang where ya look off in'ta the distance all dreamily ... and we're all scared you ain't comin' back."

     I swear, my siblings always have a way of making it sound like I'm off my rocker. Sometimes I believe them too.

     "There ain't nothin' wrong with taking in God's beauty," I explained, sitting up in my bed. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. It was already hot like a church full of sinners, and the sun wasn't even fully out. I peeled the hair off of my skin, my fingers taking most of it and putting it into a loose braid. "We're supposed to."

     I finally forced myself out of bed, my bare feet rough on the unfinished floor. It was then that I first heard the voice. It's a voice so shrill, the underworld can hear it. It only took me a moment and a half to know who it belonged to.

     Luca looked at me and I looked at Luca. "Oh no, Lyd!" he whispered before bending down to lace-up his boots. "Go through the window, I'll cover fer ya!"

     The offer was tempting, but unfortunately, I'm not easily tempted. Instead of doing what Luca suggested, the smart thing, I straightened my spine, and pushed back my shoulders. Then, I took my brown dress off of my headboard and slipped it on over my night clothes.

     "As God is my witness ... I am not in control of my behavior," I heaved under my breath.

     Luca looked-on with wide eyes, his concern for me laced with fear. "Remember what Mamma has been tryn'a teach ya! Think before ya go openin' that trap of yers!"

     I walked over to our bedroom door and he pulled at my arm, trying to stop me. Simply, I held out my hand, my nose high in the air. "I am a woman now. It's time I learn ta git along with that monster!"

     With that, I unclasped his hand from my arm, and I turned the knob, swinging the door wide open. That's when I realized how much of a barrier that door was. It was keeping us safe from the outside world. It made us believe we were protected by tucking us away in our little corner of the house.