SLOW BURN

13. i lost you

The week turns dull after the thoughts I have Sunday night. I know I'm overthinking it like I overthink everything but I can't stop thinking about the possibility of being right. Maybe all of this is just temporary. The thought makes me sad and puts me in a crappy mood. I drag my body to work every morning both dreading and looking forward to seeing Josh on Wednesday. We haven't spoken since Sunday. We only send a few texts. He's probably busy. I know that when he's not working the long shifts, he's getting rest which is way more important.

I miss him.

It feels like missing a part of me. It's depressing. I'm at odds with myself. Half of me misses and yearns to be with him. The other half is the half doubting this feeling, doubting my attraction towards him. All of this thinking is exhausting.

On Tuesday night, I'm getting ready for bed when my phone begins to vibrate. I pick it, thinking it's Josh, but it's Gunner, Brad's friend and colleague.

"It's Brad, isn't?" I ask with a sigh.

"I am so sorry to bother you, Natalie," Gunner says onto the phone. "It's just-we're at Penny's and Brad is a stubborn ass. He just got into a fight and he needs stitches but he won't move. He keeps asking for you."

"He's hurt? Where? What happened?" I'm already slipping into my leggings and putting on shoes.

"Nothing serious. Just a cut above his forehead but he's bleeding and he won't leave. They're about to call the cops. The Captain is going to be hella mad if I call him. I didn't know what else to do."

"It's fine, Gunner. I'll be there in less than ten minutes."

I hang up then reach for my car keys and head out the door. Oh Brad. What am I going to do with you?

I get to Penny's and make my way inside quickly. I find Brad and Gunner at the bar. Brad is pushing Gunner away. Gunner wasn't exaggerating. Brad is bleeding a lot. He has blood running down the right side of his face, down to his neck, staining the white T-shirt he had underneath his uniform. "Oh my god, Brad." I gasp walking to him.

He looks up at me and looks confused for a moment then he smiles and there's blood in his teeth too. He has an open lower lip. He looks so beat up, I feel bad for him. "Natalie!" He says putting an arm around my waist.

"Brad, what the hell happened to you?"

He shrugs. "Oh, just a fight with a prick."

"Come on, we have to get you to the station," I say trying to pull him up. I look at Gunner and he nods and takes Brad's other side.

Brad doesn't fight which makes Gunner give him a look of disapproval. He probably tried to get Brad to leave many times before calling me. I don't even know why he puts up with him. He must be one of the real ones.

Brad puts his arm around my shoulder as we make our way out of the bar. Everyone ignores us. This is probably normal for a bar. "I missed you so much, Natalie," Brad says, slurring his words. "So very much. I was just telling Gunner here, how much I missed you. Right, Gunner?"

"Yeah, buddy," Gunner says patiently.

I shake my head in disapproval wanting to yell at him but I know it's not going to do anything in his state. Brad wasn't shy about drinking before. He never has. He's always liked to have those nights where he likes to stay late at the bar and drink while playing poker with his friends and he did often. But I'm afraid this is is getting out of hand. And I'm even more scared that I'm the reason he's drinking more than he usually does.

We reach the station and Gunner and I set him down on the couch in the waiting area just by the entrance.

"Jesus, what happened?" Oliver asks when he sees Brad.