Red Room - Marvel Studios [1]

thirty-nine.

+ scream +

1978

I felt the familiar blue blast strike me in the chest, engulfing my body like a blanket, constricting my body as I got thrown out of the gaping whole in the side of the train car. I was hurling down towards the ground, the snowy mountains passing me as I fell, my whole body paralysed as i shot through the air. It didn't feel like I was going to be hitting the ground any time soon, like this would go on forever.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to open my mouth and make a noise. But I couldn't. Like there was tape over my mouth keeping me from screaming, but it was all I wanted to do.

I shot up like a bullet, pushing my thin bed sheet off of my sweaty legs in one swift movement, my breathing heavy and forehead damp. I threw my hand up to my chest, looking around the room frantically, not knowing where I was for a moment. Then it realised I was in the same small, dark, damp room I had been in for years now, not a single noise except from my heavy breathing filling the room.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm down my breathing, which was harder than I thought. I ran my fingers through my hair, opening my eyes to the once dark room again.

I used to have this exact dream after I fell, but it had been a while since I had had that dream, and I wasn't very fond of it. They seemed to vary every time, sometimes I hit the ground, but sometimes they just went on until I woke up, which also got longer and longer each time. But one thing was always the exact same. He never showed up in them. No matter how much I wanted him to. I put my head in my hands, taking a few deep breaths, needing to forget about the day from 35 years ago.

I exhaled loudly, swinging my feet off of the side of the bed, pushing myself up, the metal bed squeaking under the weight shift. I pulled the door open, wandering the empty cold halls of the compound and walking up the abandoned stairwells.
I pulled open the metal door to the weapons testing room, flickering the light switch, watching the dull lightbulbs turn on one by one.

I shut the door behind me, walking forward to a table and grabbing a pistol and an ammunitions case, walking to the range. I stood at the end of the long range, clicking the bullets into place in one familiar motion. I raised the gun, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath as I put my finger on the trigger.

I let the breath go, pushing the trigger, the gun firing easily. I repeatedly fired the gun, going through bullets after bullets. After every nightmare I'd come to the WTR, nothing calming me down except from firing a few guns, which I found relaxing. I fired gun after gun, bullet after bullet, trying to forget about the nightmare.

It haunted me. The death of Allison Cooper. The day she died.

Though I was trained from a young age to not make attachments, thats all I seemed to do on that mission. Not only with Bucky, Steve and Peggy, but I grew to enjoy the life of Allison, which was the last thing I wanted at the time.

The last bullet in the gun fired, having no ammunition cases left to use. Yet I continued to press the trigger down, nothing happening except from a slight clicking noise. I groaned, not knowing what to do anymore. I screamed loudly, taking the gun in my hand and just throwing it down the range forcefully.

I screamed again, turning to the metal table punching it, causing a loud noise to ripple through the room, the table now having a dent in it. I threw my hands up to my head, pulling at the roots of my hair, breathing heavily. Before I knew it, there was tears streaming down my cheeks. I slumped down on the floor, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs.

I couldn't handle it anymore, at this point I thought I would of been benched from missions, probably doing Ahren's job, or something similar. Yet here I was, still doing missions, still 25 when I should be past 50.

People said living forever must be fun.

But in reality, I just wanted to be normal again.

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A/N: hey guys, I wanted to show some of Alyonas feelings, so here it is lol.
So the next part is a big one, so get excited and ready for it
please vote and comment and i'll see y'all soon with the infamous part 40