We Couldn't Get Along Without Ya

13

When there was blood covering my arm and the blade both, I decided that was enough. I grabbed a tissue and wiped off the blade and returned it to its spot under my mattress. Then I used more tissues and cleaned up my arm. I knew someone would be bound to hear me go to the bathroom and get a bandaid so I opted to use a wad of tissues and some tape as a makeshift bandaid.

Once I deemed it good enough, I got changed into a pair of jeans and one of Darry's old football sweatshirts before going out into the kitchen, where the boys were eating pancakes. The pancakes were dyed bright green, meaning Soda had cooked.

"Mornin' sweetheart." Soda said, pushing the plate of pancakes towards me as I sat down.

"Morning." I said, taking one of the pancakes and beginning to pick at it. I knew they were all watching and waiting for me to actually eat, but I just wasn't hungry. My appetite was nonexistent.

"I didn't know you had that sweatshirt." Darry said, breaking the awkward silence that had resulted from them all watching me.

"Yeah, sorry, I stole it from your closet awhile ago." I said, looking at him and seeing him smile.

"That's alright. If you like it, you can keep it."

"Are you going to eat?" Dally asked point-blank.

"I don't have an appetite." I mumbled, earning worried looks from all of them.

"Alright, I'll make you a deal. You eat half of that pancake, and you can be a team captain when we play football later." Two-Bit negotiated.

"I don't wanna play football later." I mumbled. Sure, this morning it sounded great while laughing with Soda, but now that I had cut again, playing football wasn't a good idea; someone would surely find out somehow or hit my arm and make me flinch.

"What? Earlier you were on board with the idea." Soda said, looking like a confused puppy.

I didn't want to be mean to him, or anyone really, but I needed them off my case. I was getting anxious and overwhelmed. "Well now I don't so just leave me alone!"

"Katie, look, we just -" Steve started, only for me to cut him off.

"Would you all just leave me alone? God! I'm going to my room." I said, going back to my room and slamming the door. I sat down on my bed and cried, mad at myself for cutting again and for snapping at the guys. They were, after all, all I had and if I pushed them away, I'd have nothing. But then, I don't deserve them anyway. Maybe it'd be easier if I just pulled the blade out and cut fast and deep up both arms, ending it all.

Before I could make my move, there was a knock on my door. The exit would have to wait.