"When your brother finds out what I do to you behind his back we're dead."
"Then maybe I should stay on my knees so he doesn't notice."
***
Everyone wants to see the sunset. It's something so beautiful and enthralling; so close but so far. I've been...
It was dark outside, the light of the day faded completely with a half moon filling the city sky. It was slight chilly inside the ice cream shop, my ankles crossed under my chair and my wrists on the table. A green ice cream cup sat in my left hand, filled with the coffee flavored desert with small grounds providing a rich taste and texture. My other hand held a white plastic spoon between my thumb and pointer finger like a pencil.
Across from me sat the beautiful African American woman from Illinois with an equally entertained expression. Her lips shimmered with a light, clear gloss and her eyes glinted back at me with mischief. I was lost in her presence, all of my doubts completely dissipated.
"Strawberry is the flavor of serial killers and psychopaths. No one reasonable likes strawberry," I continued with a smile, watching as she carelessly places the spoon in her mouth face down, the ice cream flat on her tongue. I watched her slowly pull the cleaned spoon from her mouth, a seductive look in her mocha eyes.
"You're brother was drinking strawberry milk in the library the other day," she quipped in a blaze tone.
"That's precisely my point," I replied easily. I loved Jake, but he had some weird tastes. "I don't think you want to be associated with him and whatever the fuck he has going on."
"Seems normal enough to me," she shrugged with a smirk.
"Should I be worried this is a ploy to get my brother in bed?" I raised a teasing eyebrow.
"Relax, I don't swing that way. I think my fellow female is much more...entertaining; that's one way to put it," she laughed lightly. "Besides, if I was straight I'd be going for his friend. I like my men exotic," Jade drawled almost sarcastically.
"Maybe I should be worried after all," I joked back before spooning some ice cream into my mouth. I think this date was going well and my instinct was one indicating I was pleased, but there was still a pit deep inside of me. But Smith had been right; it wasn't something I could just shake. I had to truly believe I wanted this for it to work out. It's hard to flip a coin and accomplish that, but I was slowly getting there. "So what are you studying?" I ended up asking because I couldn't help but wonder. There was a specific type of person that I seemed to attract with the only exception being my brother. Perhaps I just radiated an aura that just screamed 'math'.
My best friends were going to school to be a biomedical engineer, a statistician, a hospital administrator with a focus on data management, and I was going to be a petroleum engineer. Please tell me how my brother ended up going to Stanford to be a high school Shakespeare teacher. As you can imagine, my parents weren't too thrilled with that choice.
"Religious studies."
I swear on my life I almost choked on air and fell on the ground. Luckily, I managed to conceal my utter shock with a subtly cough. "That's cool," I lied through my teeth. "What do you want to use it for?"
She shrugged nonchalantly, "not sure yet. I still have a year to decide. Maybe I'll be a museum curator or something." I'll pretend her uncertainty didn't irk my inner paranoid planing freak. Religious studies? I get the interest but what about getting a job? God, she might as well be a sociology major. "What about you?"
"Petroleum engineering," I smiled back. How different; petroleum and religion. Actually, it was starting to sound like very similar things; war. How pleasant was I on a friday night? Apparently very. No wonder Smith preferred to bend me over.
"Aren't those jobs in like, Oklahoma and Texas?" She asked seemingly curiously but I doubted there was actual interest. No one was interested in separating oil and solids via heat conductors. I was a nerd and my major even bored other nerds. That was unless they wanted to talk about politics and environmental science which was a road I didn't like to go down with most people. Yes, oil drilling is bad for the environment and yes, our government does a plethora of unethical things to get it, but that wasn't my fault. If anything, investing more in engineers helps solve problems. In addition; half of the petroleum engineering jobs in this country were devoted to helping the environment and finding more ethical ways to extract oil and regulating businesses. I don't want to sound like a sellout but there is a demand, projected to increase sixteen percent in the next decade, and I was answering it. We don't hate everyone with jobs in the insurance and hospital administration world, so how is this any different?
Sorry, I just got in a ranting mood. I hate to generalize but some intelligent people at my school liked to think they know everything there is to know about everything when they are often wrong. People just aren't very good at listening.
"A majority of jobs are in Texas, Louisiana, Colorado and Alaska, but California is also a large stock holder in oil. There is also offshore drilling but that's not something I wish to support nor risk my life for post graduation," I told her seriously. While I acknowledge that drilling wasn't the best, I also know ethics must play a role in deciding on a job. Without it, the world would collapse and we would be slaves to greed. Perhaps that's why I thought I would be good at this job; someone needed to have the moral motivation. Without driven engineers, nothing would improve.
"I'm assuming you're used to pretentious opinions," Jade added.
"Tell me about it," I muttered in response. "Though I'm sure you get just as many."
"Nah. I usually just tell people I'm a Latin major. That usually goes over better and is followed by less stupid and condescending questions."
"I hope this isn't another one of those stupid questions but up curious," I posed.
"I doubt it's as stupid as you think. You seem like the perceptive type," she murmured, the tip of her black heel brushing my leg under the table.
"Do you have a personal bias that influences the way you view different religions? Maybe one that sways you to favor different philosophies?" I asked genuinely curiously. I could have existential debates for hours on end with just about anyone.
"I prefer to think not," she answered with a slight shrug. "I'm agnostic so I think if anything, that opens me up to a variety of new opinions."
"You seem pretty sane for someone who likes strawberry ice cream," I pointed out with a grin tugging at the corner of my lips.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Jade replied easily.
Maybe this would work out. Maybe Jess was right; it was all in my head. And as I left my date that night outside her dorm room on campus, a new sense of hope filled my heart. I'd gone on a successful date with a woman I was attracted too. Things must be looking up. As I got in the silver Mercedes my brother and I shared, my phone buzzed in my right hand. The bright screen lit up my pale face in the dark night as I hit the red start button cashing the the engine to start up.
What scared me was that the smile on my face appeared just as easily as it had an hour ago.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
