To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝙲𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐? 𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙾𝚏 𝙷𝚎𝚛 ✆

✆ ᏟᎪᏞᏞ ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- peter ╝

Hey, Spider-Dweeb!

I hate you so much

That's not true
Anyway, I'm thinking about messing with Flash but I needed your permission first

Why the hell would you need my permission?
What you do to terrorize our classmates doesn't fall in my jurisdiction

But you literally save Midtown all the time...

I don't get paid enough to deal with anymore of their shit
...Actually, I don't get paid at all

That's depressing
You should ask for a commission

Wanna be my lawyer and write a contract so I can get some money every time I save a Midtown student?

Only if I get 30% of your earnings
Back to my point though

Fine
We'll figure out this contract later
I deserve my fair share of money from them

I appose that I claim I know Spider-Man and feed Flash so called "facts" about Spider-Man

Why would you possibly want to do that?

Because it would be hilarious
Also because I just came across his YouTube channel that's dedicated to Spider-Man theories and facts
He also has a blog about you
It's oddly very detailed

I'm creeped out

As one should when they find out the biggest jerk in the universe idolizes their alter ego

What do I get out of this?
I feel like I'm selling my soul to the devil

You may as well be
Pretty sure just seeing Flash make a total fool of himself is worth it

Ok, go ahead
Just don't actually reveal anything that's real
Deal?

Deal
I'll have to send you the links later because they're worth checking out

I was hoping you would

Also, hypothetically speaking, could I meet the Avengers
And by Avengers, I mean Thor
I love him so much

What's with everyone and their love for Thor?

Dude, we literally have a group chat designated about Thor with Ned
Don't go telling me I have problems when you have just as big a crush on the god as I do

Sometimes I wish I had blocked your number after you called me that first time

Peter, that's rude
Take that back!

Nope!

I will not hesitate to send Ned's gif of your Thor impression to all of the Avengers!

I freakin dare you!

Did you seriously just say freakin?