Brooklyn Nine-Nine

16 | Training & Allergies

"Detectives, our monthly crime statistics are due. I want paperwork on all of your closed cases on my desk tomorrow," Namjoon said. "Sergeant Jung, just write 'I didn't close any' on a piece of paper."

"You got it, Captain." Hoseok gave him a thumbs up.

"Dude, you haven't closed any?" Taehyung asked in a whisper.

"Of course not." Hoseok frowned, seeming a little on edge. "I've been too busy managing you guys."

"Come on, what's the real reason?" Taehyung pressed. "All of your cases have been closed by other officers. Why are you just solving cases and then leaving it for other people to wrap up?"

Hoseok hesitated, looking ashamed. He sighed and dropped his voice to a whisper, leaning in closer. "I can't use a gun."

Taehyung suppressed his laughter by holding a fist to his lips. "You're just a mall cop, aren't you?"

"Kim Taehyung, I'll kill you," Hoseok said.

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"It's really exhausting when you're the best at your job," Jungkook gloated to Jimin. "I have so much work to do now."

"Oh yeah?" Jimin asked, his voice rising in a rebuttal. "Half of those are assists I helped you on, so have fun with that."

"Hey, I solved most of those," Jungkook fired back.

"You made my life harder most of the time," Jimin said.

"Hey," Jungkook said. "I was a pretty good secondary."

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"So you just happened to pick up those drugs?" Jimin interrogated the criminal.

Jungkook started banging on the one-way glass from outside the interrogation room, the banging getting louder with his voice.

"Ask him about the bank account. Ask him about the bank account!" Jungkook repeated. "Ask him about his bank—"

The glass shattered and Jungkook was now visible to Jimin and the criminal, who stared at him in utter shock.

"—account," Jungkook finished. "You should ask him about his bank account." Jungkook started heading out the door. "Captain! Jimin broke the glass!"

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"I think I need to start seeing Sarge's therapist," Jimin commented.

"The point is, I'm a great detective," Jungkook said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" he argued. "I'm smart, I'm caring, I'm capable, I'm humble, I'm brave—"

"Brave?" Jimin asked, quirking a brow at him. "Really now?"

Jungkook scoffed. "Is that even a question? I'm the man here; all of you are meese."

"Jungkook, it's mice." Jimin rolled his eyes. "And there's a bee behind you."

Jungkook let out an ear-piercing shriek. "Sweet holy mother of Jesus!"

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"I don't know if I can do this," Hoseok mumbled, holding the gun shakily in his hand. "I haven't fired one of these since the training."

"Training?" Taehyung put on his bulletproof vest which was required attire for the shooting range. "So you learned how to use a gun to get into the police force and then totally dropped it?"