Chapter 131

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Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One

We were walking back to the hotel this time. My hand was clasped in his own, but for the most part both of us were silent. The streets were empty and the buildings were dark. My white flats clicked gently against the sidewalk, beautiful gown trailing behind me with every step.

It was hard for me to deal with all of this, to be honest.

The whole situation was just... difficult. 

I wanted the uncertainty to stop, wanted to live and love and... and experience life without having to worry about creeps coming at me from the shadows. I didn't want to have to care about the month I couldn't remember, I didn't want to have to worry about why I was turned into a vampire, or how... all I wanted was to be able to focus on normal day-to-day things.

Like, what I was gonna wear each day, and getting my work done, and playing video games with Sebastian, and making love with him, and kissing him, and cooking him poorly made meals that he would probably eat anyway because it was me who'd made them, and living together.

I wanted to just... be.

I hated feeling afraid, and while I loved the fact that Sebastian tried so hard to make sure I wouldn't be, that he would protect me like some sort of prince in shining armor, I didn't want him to have to. Yet, he did have to... even now, that's what he was doing.

I wasn't sure if he could feel it, but I sure as hell felt unfriendly eyes on me for about half of the extremely long walk back, and although I was hoping we'd head straight to the hotel... instead, he stopped at the bridge near it. I was a little confused when he let go of my hand and leaned against the stone railing, taking off his fancy mask and chucking it at the water. 

I watched as it fluttered down, landing lightly on the pristine surface before gently being pulled by the current, floating beneath the bridge and out of sight. Sebastian's head swiveled to look down at me, and with a scowl he snatched my own mask off my face and tossed it as well. It sailed out into the dark and landed on the surface, floating as it was also carried away. 

We stood there in silence for a long time, neither one of us knowing what to say, both of us equally stressed out.

I could only stare at the water as he heaved a great sigh and hunched over, setting his elbows on the rail and putting his face in his hands. For the longest time, we just stood there with wind ruffling our clothes. I hated the fact that he was like this... that I was the reason he was so down.

Everyone had been looking forward to the party for so long and I felt, in some way, like I'd ruined it for him and them. Guilt prickled through me unpleasantly and I finally joined him in leaning on the railing, folding my arms and plopping my chin on them. 

I let loose a tired sigh, wondering whether or not I should say something, maybe apologize... but he beat me to it.

"I never should have brought you here."

His voice was so raw that I turned to look at him but he didn't raise his head.

"You wouldn't have reconnected with Mephostes," I hesitantly told him. "Bad stuff happened, but we all went into this knowing it probably would, so there's no reason to beat yourself up."

"No... in retrospect, I could have saved us all the trouble by having him cancel the party and inviting him to come visit us instead," Sebastian croaked, breathing come out a little shaky; one hand came away from his face to blindly grasp my wrist. "I should have listened to you... I should have heeded the warnings and the signs and been... better. Now that I have you in my life, I need to break my habit of walking into danger hoping someone would dare to touch what's mine."

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