Remember Me [harry styles] ✓

36 - Courtyards and calls

"Why, oh why'd you do me wrong?"

"Hello?" Eve repeats; her harsh Australian accent music to my ears. "Juniper are you there?"

"You were right." I sob into the receiver - gasping for air like a fish out of water. "You were so right." There's silence at the other end of the phone and I can't help wondering if she's going to go for the hate to say I told you so approach.

"What happened?" She asks eventually. There's rustling in the background and the sound of a heavy door closing, and I realise I don't have a clue what time it is back at home. For all I know - I've either woken her up or interrupted one of her overly extended lunch breaks.

"We kissed." My chest tightens as my lips tingle with the ghost of his own. "Harry and I kissed. I mean, we've been kissing. We've been seeing each other."

There's another pause and I nudge a discarded cigarette with my shoe. "Isn't that a good thing?" I can hear the excitement in her voice; the realisation that her predication came true. "Why isn't it a good thing, Juniper?"

I can almost imagine her taking notes to pass onto Penny, who has no doubt been angling for an update since I left. Damn these people, damn these correct people.

"It is." I sigh and scrub at my eyes with my free hand. Mascara transfers onto the back of my fingers in long, ugly black streaks and I can only assume I look like I'm the lead singer of a KISS tribute act. "It was."

Eve lets out a low whistle. "Well then - what's the issue? Why do you sound like it's over before it's even begun?"

"Because it is!" I exclaim and pinch the bridge of my nose. Los Angeles traffic hurtles past somewhere in the distance; horns and sirens blaring, and suddenly I miss my city. Melbourne. Home. With it's pavement hot enough in the Summer to melt the soles of my Havaianas and it's four seasons in one day. I miss the river and the reflective sky scrapers, and Central Station with all its freebees. I want to go home. "He's with someone else."

There's a strange choking noise from the other end of the phone, as if I've caught Eve mid-slurp of her coffee. "What? No way, Juniper - that cannot be true. I don't believe that for one second."

I don't want to believe it either. I don't want to believe that the person I love most in the world has let me down again, and broken my heart in the process.

"It's true." I tell her. "As much as I wish it wasn't, it's true."

"Far out." She mutters bitterly. "Are you sure?"

Long blonde tresses and denim-clad legs swim in my mind. The press of lips against Harry's neck. The look of fear in his eyes. There's no doubt that Camille and Harry are an item and the knowledge of this has me drowning in a sudden realisation.

The constant vibration of Harry's phone on the bedside table. The illumination of the phone screen in the pocket of his shorts. He never responded when he was with me. He never even looked at his phone.

It was her. Camille.

All this time she's been there - right under my nose - and yet he never mentioned her. Not even during the torturous boyfriend talk on the bus from Dallas. He had so many opportunities - so many tour dates. But not once did he feel the need to bring her up. 

My stomach lurches and I have to squeeze my eyes tightly shut in order not vomit out here on the concrete. The last thing I need is sick-splattered shoes and to smell as revolting as I currently feel. "Trust me." I gasp; swallowing mouthfuls of air. My lungs burn. "She made it quite clear."

The exhale Eve releases goes on for so long that she sounds like a deflating balloon. "Juniper, don't get me wrong, I always knew you were going to call. I just thought it was to tell me I was right - not that Harry is a completely shit bloke. I'm so sorry, sweetie."

My lower lip wobbles and I'm overwhelmed with regret. I should never have pushed Eve away that day. Should never have left Penny to man the fort at the Gelato Store or even have left Melbourne at all. I should never have pursued the need to find Harry in the first place. I should have buried this long ago and moved on - like a normal person. 

Why can't I just be a normal person? 

"I want to come home." I cry. "I can't be here anymore. I don't want to be."

"It's just this one last night, Juniper." Eve attempts in her "fighting talk" voice. "Tomorrow you can get the fuck out of there and I'll buy you all the wine. Then we can tell the press he's got a tiny dick and he's shit in bed or something."

The burst of laughter that leaves my lips is so violent and unexpected that an attractive bubble of snot leaves my nose along with it. But just as quickly as it came, the laughter dissolves into gut-wrenching sobs - because I just know that no matter what pain or upset Harry might have caused me, I could never do that to him.

I'm too damn loyal for my own good.

And despite being thousands of miles away and numerous hours ahead, Eve senses my struggle. "You really love him, don't you?"

I find myself nodding in the darkness, even though I know she can't see me. "So much. I think I always have."

Eve exhales again. "Oh, Juniper. I wish I could hug you right now."

"I told myself I wouldn't let this happen, Eve." I sniffle; clutching my phone a little tighter. "I knew no good would come of this. I guess I should have listened to my gut."

"Argh!" She exclaims from the other end and there's a loud thump as if she's just slammed her fist into something hard and unbreakable. "This is not your fault, Juniper. This is all on Harry, and I will not hear another word of you blaming yourself. Understood?"

I manage a watery smile. "Understood."

"Bloody oath." She mutters, sounding an awful lot like her father.

Neither of us speaks for a while, and it's almost like we're in the same room - same time zone, just appreciating one another's company. I stand in the secluded courtyard; staring at the toes of my Vans and the cigarette stub I've crushed into the faded pavement, while Eve breathes heavily into the receiver and carries on with whatever I'd distracted her from in the first place. There's some frantic keyboard bashing in the background, a pause and then-

"You just wait until I get my hands on his Gucci-embellished arse."

I love her.

I open my mouth to reply but there's the sound of movement behind me - the sound of a door almost being knocked off its hinges. I whirl around; eyes puffy, makeup smudged and lips still parted - to find Harry. He stands in the doorway; chest heaving and looking as though he was about to say something until he noticed the phone by my ear.

My heart clenches. This is all his fault. 

"I've gotta go." I tell Eve and her response is immediate.

"Put him on." She all but growls at me. "Put him on the phone, right now."

"No, no. I've got this." I assure her and Harry's brow furrows. "I'll see you when I get back, yeah?"

"Fine." She sighs. "I'll see you when you get back to the Motherland. Oh, and Juniper?"

Without removing my eyes from Harry's, I nod. "Yeah?"

"Fuck him up." 

author's note: Hello and enjoy! Reads, votes and comments are hugely appreciated!