Title: Legend of Antalasia
Author: Celemenia
Reviewer: GryffindorsLoneWolf
Summary: 4/5
Really good job with this! It was concise, to the point and involved introducing your MC and giving some conflict. I do think that some of the sentences could be combined (but that's just my opinion). The last sentence sounded a little off to me, so I have a suggestion for it: What will push Antalasia to commit her entire life to the people?
Grammar: 4/5
Your grammar's pretty good! When you mentioned something of Shakespearean English, I assumed it was the whole book that would be written like so, not just the dialogues. I think you might want to let your readers know that (maybe in a author's note chapter?). The only thing that stuck out to me was that you kept numbers in their numerical format (like when you wrote 6-year-old boy). Usually, numbers are written out.
Character Building: 4/5
I think this was done pretty well! I did wish there was more descriptions of their facial expressions. The descriptions within the dialogue tags were done well, adding a little bit about their expressions would be nice. Your descriptions of the characters were well, I just think they should be toned down in general.
Writing Style: 4/5
I love your writing style! My only suggestion would be to have a variation in your sentence structures and length. The only other thing that bothered me was the amount of times the names were repeated. If there are only two people talking (considering the POV is from Antalasia) you can use, he/she or her/him. I also think you might want to create a glossary for the different kinds of species that exist within your story, as I was left a bit confused as I was reading the story.
Plot + Uniqueness: 5/5
A kickass girl who's gonna save people?! Sign me up! I think it's unique, your descriptions are on point (if a little too wordy). It's pretty unique and you've made your princess real, with all of those normal stereotypes at play. It's very hard to make up names and places, let alone different kinds of species, so good job with that!
OVERALL SCORE: 21/25
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