The Flame (Avengers Fanfiction)

70-Its Quiet Uptown

It's a text message I never wanted to receive, ever. Not even with the amount of anger I had towards the man.

Sam: Things aren't looking good. You need to get here. He wants to see both of you.

My heart drops in my chest and I look at my son, who was eating breakfast. He looks up at me, feeling my eyes on him. Benjamin looks confused and I had to think in that moment, right then and there, if I want to see my ailing husband.

"Mommy? What's wrong?" Benjamin asks and I sniffle, not wanting to cry. Part of me wishes Bucky was here to drive me to the hospital, but he's already there. He's been visiting my estranged husband daily ever since Sam found Steve unconscious inside his kitchen. I've been trying to stay as far as I possibly can from the whole situation. I thought Steve was going to be fine, but I keep forgetting that he is so old and frail. I knew exactly what hospital he was at because I was paying for the best one.

"Come on baby, go get your shoes." I tell him, walking over to pour his almost finished cereal in the sink and rinsing his bowl. Ben looks even more confused as I help him with his shoes, my hands shaking. Loop de loop and pull...

"Mommy, where are we going?" He asks just as I finish tying his shoes. I guide him outside and towards the car after slipping my shoes on. I barely remember to grab my purse and the keys.

"We're gonna visit daddy."

-

Bucky was waiting outside of the hospital for us. He gives me a bittersweet smile, picking up Ben when he wiggles out of my grasp to run over to his favorite uncle. I follow behind, anxiously wrapping my arms around myself. Buck has dark circles under his eyes and he just looks horrible, but I'm sure I don't look much better. We walk inside the hospital, the sterile smell piercing my nose almost immediately. I hate hospitals. Bucky rubs my back as we step into the elevator. The sliver doors shut, showing our distorted reflections.

"He's been talking about you all day." Bucky tells me softly, his hazel eyes glancing at me. I nod, my lower lip quivering slightly. My heart hurts so much. I can't handle another heartbreak. I fiddle with my rings, twisting them around my finger.

"I don't know if I can do this, Bucky-I-I don't think I can." I tell him as soon as the doors slide open to Steve's floor. We step out and Bucky stops to look at me. The door slides shut behind us.

"If you want, you can walk back into that elevator with Benjamin and he wouldn't be mad at you. He'll understand, okay?" Bucky tells me as tears roll down my cheeks. I can't walk out on Steve now, no matter what he did to me. Instead I nod and follow him to my husband's room. I stop in the doorway when I see the elderly man laying in the bed, tubes going in and out of him. Sam's beside his bed, drinking probably gross hospital coffee. My husband's ocean blue eyes widen ever so slightly when he sees me. I walk forward, letting the tears flow from my eyes as I smile at him. A smile appears on his shocked wrinkled face.

Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

"Hi handsome." I tell him, making Steve smile ever so slightly. There's tears in his eyes as I sit beside his bed, taking his wrinkled hand. He has those ugly bruises everywhere, the ones that old people get. He looks so old, so weak. Once upon a time, I thought that when I saw Steve this old, I'd be just as elderly looking. I was so wrong.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, doll." Steve wheezes out, holding my hand. I laugh, wiping at my tears. He smiles at me, "Come on, don't cry, darling. I think I've made you cry enough."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I sniffle, looking to look at Bucky, beckoning him towards me. He sets Ben down on my lap and I wrap my arms around my son. Steve smiles at our son, our beautiful son. Benjamin is uncomfortable and I suddenly realize that I don't think he's ever been around sick people or in a hospital to visit someone that's sick.