Diary's Page: 12

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Dear diary... I don't know how's that I'm being able to write.

I've been crying my eyes out since I walked out of that house. It's been a few hours and I can't seem to stop. What am I feeling at this point? I don't know. My hands are shaking as I write this, am I still alive? Is my heart still beating? Cause it feels like I left it there inside his arms.

I never thought he would beg me to stay with him, ever. He pleaded, he cried and I felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest.

I couldn't stay. I can't anymore. I can't keep wiping his tears, I can't comply and stay with him the way he wants me to. He sees me as his confident, his tears' handkerchief, and I've took it so far to keep him close cause I've been afraid to leave him on his own. Sacrificing myself to keep him safe it's all I've been doing, but I can't anymore.

What is happening? What is this unbearable pain I'm feeling? I never thought I could feel this much about someone.

I'm too young, I'm just 18 but I'm pretty sure this isn't just a teenage love. I didn't chose to feel this way, why did I fall so deep for him?

My body is yearning for him. He hurts me but I need him so much, I need him like a heartbeat.

Stupid boy. I love you so much. I hate you, but I love you more than anything.

I can't keep lying to myself. This isn't going to fade away, I can't love anyone if it isn't him.

I have made my decision. I called Jihoon, he's on his way.

This won't be for sure the only reason I've been crying.

I've lost all my strength. I don't know what is the right thing to do anymore. People say it's easy to just listen to your heart... But it's not true, why am I breaking apart?

This is so much drama. It feels like the world is falling all over me, but in reality, it still turns.

Tonight it will be three people hurting including me... Why do I feel like it's all my fault?

I have to keep in mind that I'm doing what's best for us.

Dear diary... Someone's knocking on the door. He's finally here.

This will be a long night.

Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi SoobinWhere stories live. Discover now